Better than last week's and just as off topic
Got ten minutes to spare?...

Is there anything more miserable than an 18 year old that has never been kissed? All around you, less witty, less intelligent and, if we're being honest, less attractive people, are snogging and, no doubt, in private doing even more intimate things. But not you, oh no. And then what happens? Yes you do miserably in your A Levels and fail to get that place at Liverpool Uni you had your heart set on - well, perhaps not you, but that was the situation the young Che found himself in. Not just miserable and with no idea what to do with his life, but also with a fully functioning, nay, eager and constantly throbbing member and a pair of bollocks on permanent double shifts, producing enough spermatozoa to re-populate China every 48 hours.

Miserable? The only thing keeping me going was the support of friends and the regular gaseous intake of combustible resin of the cannabis sativa plant. So, in this unstable condition of sexual readiness partially supressed by dope, I spent a year working while my kindly but clueless parents convinced me to sign up for a degree in catering administration in Bournemouth (don't ask).

I saved up and gave myself a decent summer holiday though. I got an inter-rail card: South of France, Rome, Florence, Italian Riviera, Austria, Germany, Luxembourg and finally, Amsterdam - where I was able to renew my acquaintance with the above-mentioned herbal remedy and reconcile myself to three more weeks at home before going to college to do some mickey mouse course. It also softened the blow that, despite travelling alone, staying in Youth Hostels and meeting dozens of people of both sexes from all over, I had spectacularly failed to get any girlie action whatsoever.

Did I ask earlier whether there was anything more miserable than an 18 year old that has never been kissed? Well, by now, I'd had my 19th birthday.

Heigh ho and back to Blightly. After a feed a sleep and a bath I felt 'normal' again...so I hastily called some mates and went to the pub or maybe went to someone's place for a smoke. Funnily enough, I hate telling traveller's tales normally; you've been off having adventures, if only minor ones, while the folks back home have been doing diddly squat. I don't like bragging and anyway...you had to have been there. So I'd catch up on who was shagging who and who wasn't any more etc. and I sat in the background getting bored.

Then, at the weekend, there was a party at my best mate's ex's house. We were sitting around chatting, I knew everyone more or less, when a girl called Mandy suddenly said: "I really want to go to Greece, but I can't find anyone to go with."

"I'll go with you." I said. I had planned to go to Greece on my inter-rail card but missed the train by ten minutes so ended up going to Vienna instead. I knew Mandy, she'd been in my history A Level class, but if you drew a set of Venn diagrams of those of us at 6th Form College, she would only have been in one of the same ones as me, if you know what I mean. In my close circle of friends she was tolerated though not specially close to anyone. I could feel several pairs of eyes turning my way as the eyebrows rose, but what the fuck? she wanted to go to Greece, so did I; I couldn't bear the thought of sitting around for the next three weeks doing nothing, let's go.

Mandy wasn't really my 'type', being a bit too curly headed and rosy-cheeked, rather than the scaled-down Liz Taylor or Sophia Loren which was more my ideal, but she was certainly nice enough to make the thought of spending a couple of weeks in her company, although a little unexpected, certainly not repellent.

The very next day, I met up with Mandy (after breaking the news to my pretty dis-chuffed parents) and we went up to Town to buy some train tickets. Back in the old days, you couldn't ring up or order online, you had to queue up at Victoria and pay in pound notes. Another couple of days and we were off.

I'd never travelled with anyone before - always the solo wanderer me, so I found it a bit strange at first. I felt a bit protective, but Mandy was an independant girl - an only child and parents separated - and though I had 3 brothers and no sisters, I got used to it fairly quickly. It's a long train journey from London to Brindisi and includes a couple of nights; we'd not shelled out for couchettes so slept in seats. Occasionally, Mandy's head would rest on my shoulder, and, although I didn't fancy her, it made a pleasant change. We got on fine together, any misgivings I may have had proved to be unfounded, and sometimes I'd chuckle quietly to myself as I remembered the faces of our friends...

Brindisi. This was early September I guess and southern Italy was HOT, which was fine. I liked it hot in those days. We found the boat to Greece and bought the cheapest tickets: deck class. On board, we settled down on a bench and got chatting to a group of Swedish lads, I'm sure they weren't all called Sven, but I'm pretty sure at least one of them was. We did the old traveller thing of sharing what we had, bread, sausage, huge ripe peaches, bottles of warm red wine, cigarettes etc. I can still feel the fur of the peach on my lips as I bit into the ripe flesh and the juice spilled down my chin and neck, then the over-heated red wine, straight from the bottle, passed around the circle - rough, warm, warming. As the sun went down we were treated to a magnificent sunset and then the breathtaking stars of the southern mediterranean night sky. I'd always thought that shooting stars were either a kind of myth or else a rarity, a bit like a comet or a total eclipse. Out on the dark sea, lying on a sleeping mat watching shooting star after shooting star streak across the sky as we fell asleep...

We stuck with the Swedes after we landed as we were all headed for Athens. No-one had any idea where to stay in Athens, but then again, we weren't much bothered either. Just as well we didn't worry, as it wasn't a problem; at Athens station we were met by a Kiwi who sold us the virtues of the Hotel Byron - he was given free board and lodging to do so, but he certainly didn't oversell it. We followed him, like rats following the Pied Piper, but he wasn't even playing a flute.

We all chose to sleep on the roof. It was cheaper and last night on the boat had been so lovely we didn't really want to be confined to a room. Up we went, laying down our sleeping mats, un-rolling our sleeping bags, standing our rucksacks nearby - silent sentinels. Then a quick shower and back downstairs to the bar/lounge to sample the first of many cold, Greek beers, Amstel I think. Big pint-sized bottles - rare in those days - and so cheap. Mandy and I had been travelling together now for about three or four days, we were sitting on a low bench, back to back, chatting to Swedes and others staying at the Byron.

"Do you love her?" Sven asked me, gesturing towards Mandy with his beer bottle.

"Eh? Oh, no. We're just friends. She wanted to go to Greece, so did I, so we went together."

"She's a very nice girl," said Sven. I guessed he fancied her and kind of wished him luck. A couple of more beers and it was time to go to bed. Up the four flights of stairs onto the roof, with the lights of Athens all around, and the myriad stars above. I climbed into my sleeping bag and shrugged off my clothes as Mandy did the same in her bag, next to me. I turned to face her, "Well, here we are!" I said, she smiled, reached out an arm, put it around my neck and pulled me towards her for the first snog of my life.

I'm pleased to report that although totally unexpected, I wasn't shocked by this development and, in fact, I very rapidly threw myself into the proceedings with the appropriate gusto. Soon, I had transferred to her sleeping bag and was on top of her, kissing for England, and then...I can still feel it today, in my mind's groin, so to speak. She reached down and firmly but gently, and yet urgently and fervently took hold of little Che and guided him towards that place, that secret, sacred place.

Could there be anything more surprising for the 19 year old virgin than to discover that a girl - any girl - is willing and anxious to have sex with him, in fact just as keen as he is to have sex with her? And if you have to endure those long hard years of girl-lessness, what better place to finally discover their joys than under the stars on a warm summer night in the eternal city of Athens? I lay back and Mandy rested her head on my young man's chest and I placed a protective arm around her.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 16:40, 16 replies)

Yay!
Happy friday afternoon tale to distract me from sales reports!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 17:29, closed)

*Sigh*
What a lovely little tale and what a lovely way to lose your v-plates.
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 19:11, closed)

I like this
Great story, you tell it well. Enjoyed reading that.
(Stevie Ruggling, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 19:43, closed)

11/10
for spelling heigh-ho properly
( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 22:50, closed)

Welcome Back
I've missed you mate.....

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 23:05, closed)

Wonderful!
That....

Is just beautiful, romantic, life affirming, and the last thing I'd expect to see here!

Welcome home!
(Chevron71 is oscillating wildly...., Fri 18 Jan 2008, 23:21, closed)

That was a beautiful story, and an utter joy to read.

( Bob Todd whee, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 23:51, closed)

good one!
Che that was remarkably nice! it even ended nice, unlike a frank spencerish tome.
(Lurkaloid awarded wanking black belt on, Sat 19 Jan 2008, 1:14, closed)

An excellent story...
And should be on the best of page, if there is any justice!

*clicks*
( jim_bob can herd cats., Sat 19 Jan 2008, 10:37, closed)

Lovely.
You made sometyhing that could quite easily sound tawdry and desperate into a lovely romantic tale that put a smile on my face and hopefully will do for the rest of the day.
(John_Anon_Prince I have no heart and soul, Sat 19 Jan 2008, 11:12, closed)

What - no length joke?
Great story :)

Click.
(EuroSong I love horse meat: best of all the animals, Sat 19 Jan 2008, 17:11, closed)

Well worth the time it took to read!
Thanks for that story! Very well told and who doesnt love a happy ending?

Cheers,

Sean
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Sun 20 Jan 2008, 7:02, closed)

Definately worth the read
Sweet little story well told. This has to be on the 'Best of' page.

*click*
(KangerooFlapjack, Sun 20 Jan 2008, 17:11, closed)

Thanks folks!
Good to be appreciated. And as a post-script: the great thing was that we had a super two weeks or so of sun, sea and the other thing before returning home, me to Bournemouth tech and her to Birmingham uni. She visited me once boosting my standing and I vistited her once - we went to see Bauhaus, then at Christmas, she chucked me, but although a bit miffed for a few days, it wasn't too bad as I wasn't really in love with her.

Win - win.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 9:16, closed)

Unexpectedly beautiful
This is a winner for sure.
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Mon 21 Jan 2008, 10:09, closed)

Nicely
Sweet, in so many ways.
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Tue 22 Jan 2008, 16:30, closed)