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This is a question Hotel Splendido

Enzyme writes, "what about awful hotels, B&Bs, or friends' houses where you've had no choice but to stay the night?"

What, the place in Oxford that had the mattresses encased in plastic (crinkly noises all night), the place in Blackpool where the night manager would drum to the music on his ipod on the corridor walls as he did his rounds, or the place in Lancaster where the two single beds(!) collapsed through metal fatigue?

Add your crappy hotel experiences to our list.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 16:05)
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Shit shelf
I was staying at a cheap-as-chips hotel in amsterdam. It was probably what you'd expect for the price, its one redeeming feature being you could smoke weed in the dining area.

One thing I couldn't look past however, was the toilet. Instead of having a normal bowl with some water for your turds to swim in, some eccentric, (stoned?), dutch toilet designer decided to put a shelf in the way of the landing zone. This meant that your feces would collect in a pile, producing a very potent smell of crap in the extremely confined area that was the toilet.

As if that wasnt bad enough I had to share the room/dorm with 8 others and so we all got a whiff of each others bowl movements. Worst of all was when my mate spent a night on the guiness.
(, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 16:53, 6 replies)
That's the crazy Dutch for ya
The Dutch are a faecally obsessed nation, they like to examine what comes out of their rear end to check for illness/peanuts/sweetcorn/whatever, hence the shelf. My grandparents and aunties and uncles used to have that type of bog too. Being only half Dutch I appear to have managed to avoid the desire to look at my turds however.
(, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 17:01, closed)
smugglers bog
they have those shelves in czech toilets too - known locally as smugglers toilets, so you can collect the stash hidden up your behind without fishing about in the bowl. great at the inlaws house when i had a gippy gut last year...
(, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 19:09, closed)
shelf
they have these toilets in austria too.
i left a huge log on the shelf and put the lid down. my friend who shared the room went in for a shit and he SCREAMED when he lifted the lid. hahahahaah.
(, Sat 19 Jan 2008, 1:25, closed)
^Hahaha^
Bad & wrong person!
(, Sat 19 Jan 2008, 1:40, closed)
Yes the shelf is here purely for reasons of the pranking kind
And a good laugh.

i can confirm they exist in austria. It's great when the log is really long and hits the shelf, breaks at your bumhole and draws a stripe along your scrote or bumcheeks.
(, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 21:27, closed)
Poo Podiums
They exist in Germany too. I've been told, and this may or may not be true, that it's because of the fact that meat tends to be eaten rarer there. This makes it imperative to check your turds for worms. Apparently.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2008, 7:41, closed)

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