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This is a question Hotel Splendido

Enzyme writes, "what about awful hotels, B&Bs, or friends' houses where you've had no choice but to stay the night?"

What, the place in Oxford that had the mattresses encased in plastic (crinkly noises all night), the place in Blackpool where the night manager would drum to the music on his ipod on the corridor walls as he did his rounds, or the place in Lancaster where the two single beds(!) collapsed through metal fatigue?

Add your crappy hotel experiences to our list.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 16:05)
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Cambridge - seat of learning excellence and hotel shitness...
A few years ago Mrslawofnations and I were invited to a wedding in Cambridge. At the time I was in Scotland and MrsLON wasn't a Mrs and was in the Midlands. I travelled down to see her, and we took a train out to Cambridge, safe in the knowledge that we'd be able to catch the last train back.

Shortly after the starter we realised that there wasn't a chance in hell that we'd have enough time to have the meal and get back to the station. So, the choice was be incredibly rude and leave, or stay and hope we could find somewhere to stay the night.

Cambridge isn't a huge town, but you would think there might be a spare bed somewhere, right?

During my third hour of phone calls, I managed to find a B&B that had a room, for £50. Sorted. We show up. We are let in through the front door of a rather nice little terraced house. Then a nice little corridor. Then out the nice little backdoor. Through a maze of the most poorly constructed extension work you've ever seen. Walls made of MDF. For five minutes of twisting and turning. Then we get to our "room".

Bed number 1 was damp. Bed number 2 had stains of every description. Burns. Blood. "Other". There was mercifully a shower. Cold water, at a slow trickle, but at least we could wash up a little. Minus soap and a change of clothes, but better than nothing.

The next morning, stinking in the way only the unwashed can, we arrive at breakfast. Which was actually pretty damn good. There I was, sat in best suit and tie, MrsLON in a pretty dress, having a cracking fry-up...

... surrounded by barely lucid smack-heads, ASBO cases and assorted chavs. It appeared there was a reason that this B&B had beds free - it was one of the places Cambridge Council sent people who had been evicted from their homes for attacking their neighbours, and thugs who had left home "cos they is proper well 'ard innit".

I think a park bench would have been preferable that night, but despite all that I don't think I've had a better fried breakfast anywhere else!

***Edited for shit spelling pointed out by the aforementioned MrsLON***
(, Sun 20 Jan 2008, 11:47, 2 replies)
Cambridge still has approximately two good hotels
They really should invest more in tourism. Or student accommodation. That's also a bit shit.
(, Sun 20 Jan 2008, 11:57, closed)
every other damn house in Cambridge is student accomodation!

might include traces of over-exaggeration
(, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 9:59, closed)

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