Travelodge. Christ.
I'd just checked into a Travelodge somewhere near Cardiff. As the less fortunate of you may know, they have a "Good Night Guarantee". The receptionist on this occasion was a 16-year-old fat goth bird who exuded surliness like the Daily Mail exudes conceited bigotry.

Receptionist - Have you stayed before sir?
Me - Yes, many times.
R - So you've heard about our Good Night Guarantee?
M - Yes, I have.
R - So you know that if there's any problem with your room you're entitled to a full refund?
M - Yes, I do.

But this time I *did* have a problem with the room. I'd booked the last room, a disabled room. Instead of a chair there was a handy blank space in front of the table to park one's wheelchair (because all disabiliies expressly imply dependence upon a wheelchair, don't they.) I needed that chair for wanking so I went back to the deserted reception, where I'd seen three lined against a wall.

Me - Excuse me, there's no chair in my room.
Receptionist - Yeah, it's a disabled room.
M - Can I borrow one of these ones then? I'll bring it back first thing.
R - No. Health and safety.

And at the merest shadow of a chance that I might invoke the dreaded Good Night Guarantee she promptly stood up and locked herself in the office.
(Whizzer, Wed 23 Jan 2008, 17:00, 2 replies)

you need a chair for wanking?
I find bicycles are better for this in hotel rooms.
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/10/26/nsex126.xml
( toadfish, Wed 23 Jan 2008, 17:59, closed)

Bike Sex ?
Why not investigate this Very NSFW page.
www.isexasian.com/2008/movies/99-jan-11-bc/n_247020.html

Repeat - Not Safe For Work (ie Pron.)
( Tepid_Halibut felt like a cold, empty shell of a human...until, Wed 23 Jan 2008, 18:51, closed)