Iran
Before it all kicked off with nuclear stuff I used to travel to Tehran a couple of times a year on business.

It's such a lovely city nestled at the base of a mountain range. I was promised to go skiing but never did get round to it.

Anyhow, when the Shah was chucked on (cira 1976) all the hotels were nationalised for 'the people' who, of course, could never afford to stay there. I uused to stay in what was previously the Hilton. The entrance rug obviously hadn't been changed since the revolution but vacuuming every day had left it with barely a thread left. Check in was ok, but of course no American Express, big wads of cash and westerners paid twice the amount of anyone with an Iranian passport.

I was plumped into the 'new wing' which was 'the best'. All kinds of little horrors;

No internet. (no porn)
Plug sockets hanging off the wall in the bathroom.
No booze.
Dodgy bedcovers
Tiles missing.
Hole in the floor - later found out that was infact the toilet.
Wipe your arse with a rag - and put it back!!
Food - urgh
Taxis - fumes would have killed a family in a 4 bed semi unless you stick your head out of the window like a mutated Alsatian.
And still no booze.
Or women. They were there of course, but you couldn't see anything of them.
Managed to survive the week and had a boner when I saw the Emirates trolly dolly's ankles - cor.

Landed back in Dubai and a swift taxi to my suite at the Emirates Tower and a few bottles of Fosters.

The people were lovely though.
(Suck it and Sea, Fri 28 Nov 2014, 8:59, 5 replies)

Fosters isn't really a suitable substitute for alcohol.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 28 Nov 2014, 9:56, closed)

I'll be honest, when I read 'Dodgy bedcovers' and 'Tiles missing' I thought you were just being a stuck up, whinging twat.
but when I read the rest it made up for it.

And 'click' for 'mutated alsation'
(Dr Doctor Can't you see I'm burning burning?, Fri 28 Nov 2014, 11:58, closed)

Im not suprised there was no hotel internet in 1976.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 29 Nov 2014, 16:21, closed)

whenever I had that problem in the '70s I'd threaten to not leave reception until they get it

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 1 Dec 2014, 0:31, closed)

ankles, eh?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 30 Nov 2014, 15:28, closed)