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This is a question Crazy Relatives

curvylittlegoth writes, "My Grandma is crazy, crazy mad. As well as regularly putting curses on us all, she once fell asleep in the armchair on a sunny afternoon, Barley Wine in one hand, Peter Stuyveson in the other, only to wake up several hours later to a Darth Vader sounding fireman. She thought she was in HELL as the smoke and flames billowed round her..."

Are any of your relatives this loopy?

(, Thu 5 Jul 2007, 15:59)
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Well, if you want delusional fantasies...
My mother, who is technically an educated woman, recently told me that she thought Barack Obama made a mistake saying that he was against the war in Iraq from the start, because "nobody could have really predicted that it would turn out badly. I mean, nobody could really know that." She believes it, too.

She also thinks that she's an expert on EVERYTHING. My brother spent years managing a gourmet fish shop (as in, fresh fish to bring home and cook). He really knows his fish, right? My mom works with children, and has nothing to do with fish other than that she eats it sometimes. A couple years ago, she made a comment at dinner that she always buys frozen fish, because they can freeze it right there on the boat, so it must be better fish. "well, no," says my brother, "they freeze the worst cuts of fish, because they can't sell it fresh, and they send the nicest cuts to the fresh fish shops." Most of you believe him right? Makes sense, businesswise, and also it was his fucking job. What does my mother counter with? "I don't believe that." No defense of her logic. No rebuttal. Just refusal to believe anything, as she's the expert on everything. She'll repeat this argument with just about anything. My major in school? She knows more. Anyone else's job? She knows more. My hobbies? She knows more. Stuff she knows nothing about? She knows more. Why, you ask? Because I am 24, and she is 62, and therefor she has MORE EXPERIENCE.

If you're driving with her, and she needs to call someone (for directions, for example), she tells you what she wants you to ask, you make the call, and then once you're on the phone, she starts talking at you, loudly, telling you what to say (even though she's already told you), adding totally irrelevant information, and generally making it impossible for you to actually communicate with the person you're trying to talk to. Then, she waits til you're off the phone and asks, confusedly, "why didn't you say such and such?"

She does the same thing with computers and electronics. "Will you set up my new DVD player for me?" Sure mom! Just let me at it, and leave me alone. "Oh, shouldn't that go there? Do you need this? What about this one? Don't fidget with that thingy there!" Mom, do you want me to do it or not?

We've been visiting her elderly uncle every year for as long as I remember. She still tells me to make sure that I don't pack my ripped up jeans and skimpy clothes (I don't even wear skimpy clothes anymore!). She reminds my brother every year to make sure that whatever he brings covers up his tattoos. She's finally gotten to a point where, when I respond with "Do I ever wear ripped up jeans there?" she acknowledges that I don't, at least.

Sometimes, it's like talking to a brick...
(, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 11:31, Reply)

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