Crazy Relativescurvylittlegoth writes, "My Grandma is crazy, crazy mad. As well as regularly putting curses on us all, she once fell asleep in the armchair on a sunny afternoon, Barley Wine in one hand, Peter Stuyveson in the other, only to wake up several hours later to a Darth Vader sounding fireman. She thought she was in HELL as the smoke and flames billowed round her..."
Are any of your relatives this loopy?
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chthonic, Thu 5 Jul 2007, 15:59)
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in what's becoming a tradition heremy grandad was also a few clowns short of a circus.
his last christmas, we turned up to pick him up from the home. (yes, he was in a home. he used to be in nice, cosy sheltered accommodation, but he menaced the little old ladies for their evening sherry, stole toilet rolls from the latvian club [why? why??] and ran up a £500 tab at the pub across the road, so he got booted out of there.)
he was sitting waiting for us in his coat and russian minge hat, happily eating the christmas dinner of someone else who had fallen asleep in front of it. "rachelswipe and mummyswipe! i didn't know you were coming today," he said, clearly having forgotten it was christmas.
when he stood up, he was still wearing his slippers. mummyswipe told him to go and change his shoes, so off he trotted. we stood there for 20 uncomfortable minutes being prodded by the other inmates and watching one of them try to feed cigarettes to the cockatiel.
eventually my grandad reappeared. still in his slippers. but now wearing a proper yorkshire flatcap over his russian beaver.
"rachelswipe and mummyswipe! i didn't know you were coming today," he said, clearly having forgotten it was christmas.
and the entire previous half an hour.
dear god...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 14:45,
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