My Dear Old Gran
Is fucking loopy. I love her with all my heart, but she lost it long ago... All of the following are true:

1. She recently went on a computing course for seniors (turning it on and off is about as advanced as it gets) She told me that she learned radar, and I believed her, untill she started to speak about Word Processing....

2. She regularly talks to herself, and farts loudly in the company of others. She'll have a go at you if you do the same.

3. The peis du resistance... Once upon a time, when I was a wee DanS, she took me on a walk to the local fruit farm, (where they sell local fuit juice, wine, fruits themselves, etc.)

We walked down the country lane, which had deep, thin ditches either side (for the area often floods) when all of a sudden she spotted a brifcase in the said ditch.

As she is old and frail, I was sent into the ditch to retrieve it, so we could have a further inspection.

I jumped in like asked, with stinging nettles brushing me and ankle deep in muddy water, and picked up the briefcase and put it in the road.

A foul stench hit my nose. I assumed it was the sheep feaces lining the ditch, and proceeded to open the breifcase.

Fortunatley, it didnt have a number code, so I pressed the two latches on the side, and lifted the lid...my eyes were presented with the wonderful sight of....

Vomit. Yes, somebody had thrown up in a briefcase and dumped it in the side of the road.

Rather than throwing it back, my Gran emptied the case, and took it home to wash it out, and kept it.


Bless her.
(DanS like you've never DanSed before!, Tue 10 Jul 2007, 23:17, Reply)