Virgin on the ridiculous
I was 17, I'd been seeing my first proper long-term boyfriend for eight months and we were ready to take our deeply heartfelt teen love to a new level where he would remove the last vestiges of my virginity. Spurning the usual lover's haunts of local lane-ways and forest, we opted for the comfort of his bedroom. His mother was progressive, open-minded and a bit of a goer, so we knew she wouldn't mind.

There we were, in advanced stages of foreplay, me bracing myself at the idea of becoming a proper woman (he was already manly, having done it with one other girl, the stud). As we gazed endearingly into each others eyes and whispered affirmative responses, and as he positioned himself for that sweet milestone of a moment, and as I clutched him to me and vowed in my heart that this pure, beautiful practice could never be repeated with another man...

...in walked his mother with a pile of laundry, breezed over to the airing cupboard and nonchalantly cried "oh, don't mind me, dears!"

I did not lose my virginity that day.

He bought a lock.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 22:55, 7 replies)

Hahahahahahaha!
*click*
(idle insomniac enjoys listening to Sigur Rós at stupid hours, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 22:58, closed)

woah
must have been the quintessense of mortifying at the time.. you get a click for build-up and subversion of any expected out-come. The mother was a bitch - should have minded her own buisness.
(lost, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 23:49, closed)

As I think of
the various girls into whose family homes I have stealthily infiltrated (one with a grappling hook and a knotted rope, no less), I can't think of a single one whose parents wouldn't have beaten me with the nearest heavy object if they'd caught me the way you were.

So, while I have to cringe on your behalf, I'm impressed that there are parents that blase in the world. Have a click.
(Ejaculantern was caught desecrating pumpkins on, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 9:54, closed)

Are you...
...the 13th Duke of Wimbourne?
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 22:02, closed)

I have
no idea who that is. But it wasn't as exciting as having a grappling gun - she dropped it out of her window for me to climb up so I "wouldn't wake her parents" who had their room just down the hall.

Why I scrabbled my way up over plastic siding and whatever you call that surface that is rocks set into concrete to then haul myself over a windowsill rather than just take my shoes off and sneak through the house is something that now eludes me.
(Ejaculantern was caught desecrating pumpkins on, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 22:19, closed)

This...
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=vP0HHX4Ur9g
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 23:22, closed)

Heh
If I looked like that, I'd get the sprinklers turned on rather than the rope dropped. ;)
(Ejaculantern was caught desecrating pumpkins on, Sat 29 Nov 2008, 9:10, closed)