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This is a question Cringe!

Chickenlady winces, "I told a Hugh Grant/Divine Brown joke to my dad, pretending that Ms Brown was chewing gum so she'd be more American. Instead I just appeared to be still giving the blow-job. Even as I'm writing this I'm cringing inside."

Tell us your cringeworthy stories of embarrassment. Go on, you're amongst friends here...

(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 18:58)
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Related to my story on page two,
I was over at the shagmate's... shagging. It was about 0130 and I felt something hop on the bed.

She didn't have a cat.

It was her son, somewhat less than two years old, come to sleep in her bed. I froze. Not out of shame, and this isn't the cringe moment, but because I was trying to think of the least obvious way to dismount his mother and not leave him with any issues.

She says "Hi Kiddo!" and he proceeds to curl up on the other pillow. Quietly she says it's okay and we can keep going. I'm still poised above her, half in as I hadn't moved yet.

And that's when the little boy reached out and held my hand.


Mom started bucking her hips to get me going again, but I decided we were done.
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 23:05, 12 replies)
she said
keep going??! Fucking hell
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 23:25, closed)
I know.
It's not that I think that sex is a shameful secret, but really, perhaps we could just go to sleep while the kid is there. I mean, when I was a little kid and used to get up and get into my mom's bed, I think I was looking for a little comforting.

I'm trying to remember if I spent the night or went home after that. I lived less that 100m away. Good for booty calls, eh?
(, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 9:12, closed)
I feel your pain
A loooong time ago when I was with my ex, his four year old daughter slept in our room.
One night we were sexing away obliviously, with me on top if I remember right, when we both suddenly froze as we became acutely aware of a silent spectre-like presence watching us from the end of the bed, her white little face full of concentration as it glowed out of the darkness.

We had no idea how long she'd been stood there.
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 23:43, closed)
That sounds familiar
I was in a tent with an ex (different from the one in the story) and we were seeing how many times we could carnally assault each other in a day. She was going down on me, and I heard a zipping sound. I saw a little kid of about four curiously investigating the interior of our tent.

It put me in the unusual position of feeling that using my girlfriend's mouth as clothing was a better alternative that letting the kid see me in my altogether.

"Hey, I bet you can't get that zipper all the way down to the ground!" I told him. He could. :)
(, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 9:30, closed)
Belly lol
magic reply, A*

Glad I wasn't drinking coffee then!
(, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 17:07, closed)

I got caught going down on a woman... she tapped me on the head and I looked up to see her 4 year old standing there.

I said 'Oh, I'm glad you are here. I am looking for my car keys'.

He said 'There they are' and pointed to them on the bedside table.

Thanks Oscar.
(, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 8:08, closed)
You realize
he's going to grow up thinking there's all manner of things stored up in there now.
(, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 9:31, closed)
Sounds a bit like this...

Still one of my favourite ever answers!
(, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 10:21, closed)
I honestly have no idea
what I would have done if he'd actually climbed on my back.

I mean, coitus interruptus by a little kid is amusing. Me being the meat in a mother-son sandwich is... I don't know, Burt Reynolds Deliverance.

Congrats, I believe you've just induced a cringe. :)
(, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 10:28, closed)
the holding of hands part is fantastic! I'd probably shrivel up to maggot size and never be able to get a chubby on ever again.
(, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 15:09, closed)
I was a bit astonished
that I did not, to tell the truth. Clearly I'm good to go in all sorts of adverse conditions. ;)
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 3:39, closed)
or you just like little boys.
(, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 13:59, closed)

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