I recently caught myself posting a blog-like essay containing lots of personal information in lieu of an interesting answer.
Fuck me, that really was embarrassing!
(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Mon 1 Dec 2008, 2:16, 6 replies)

Fuck off
you're boring
(lost, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 2:20, closed)

NO, LOOK AT ME WHILE I'M BEING BORED! MEEE!

(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Mon 1 Dec 2008, 10:09, closed)

what like this...
posted by (Kaplanator 2: This Time It's Personal

Spoilt Brats

Please bear with me here, the back-story is quite long.
I left home nearly 10 years ago, and have been back maybe twice since then - this is because my family are frankly intolerable. When I was born, my mother was married to a mechanic (my father) - when I was about 6, a fat greasy twat of a merchant banker waltzed into our lives and split them up, subsequently marrying my mum. Now while my early childhood was not quite dirt-poor, it became positively luxurious, due to his wealth. To cement their relationship, they tried for another child, and got twins - my half-brother and sister.

Given how much adulation and fawning they received, you'd think they were royalty. "Ooh look, little Dominic's drawn a cat, and he's only two months old!" "Ooh look, Stacey's correctly wired a plug, and she's only six weeks old!" "Ooh look, Dominic devised a grand unifying theory of quantum mechanics and relativity while he was still in the fucking womb!" I'm far from stupid, but I had no chance of recognition when I was up against these little cherubs, especially as I was a relic of my mother's previous marriage to a pleb. In this newly-altered family dynamic, I became the black sheep by default - the restless delinquent, the no-hoper - and started to live up to my new role, getting into scrapes at school and with the police. Meanwhile, they both excelled and were revered as saints in human form by teachers. These little shits had not just been fed by the silver spoon, they'd had nearly the whole damn cutlery set practically from birth, and they never quite appreciated how lucky they were. Not only were they were appalling little whinge-bags, they were greedy, opportunistic and highly malicious whenever they thought they could get away with it. Any retaliation on my part was futile, as I was much bigger and older than both of them (I'm very tall and wiry, like my father; like their father, they were podgy, piggy-eyed and myopic, and probably still are.) So they'd often run off crying to my mother and I'd get a prize bollocking. I'd become an outcast in my own family.

(You may wonder where my father was during all this - he'd been ordered not to have any contact with us on pain of prosecution, as the grease-ball had alleged he was a violent drunkard, and the social services had unquestioningly taken his word for it!)

At 16, I got a full-time job and moved out the moment I'd done my GCSEs. A few years later, I'd mentally wandered the desert in self-imposed exile and saved up enough to do catering at Doncaster College, then pursued the quietly successful career I've had to date. True, I'm still an outsider in most social situations and I daren't get too close to people (physically or mentally), but that's a small price to pay for leaving behind a life that would likely have driven me insane.

And with a bit of luck, I may never see any of them again.

[Edit] Fucking hell, this post should be re-categorised as an essay!
(Thu 9th Oct 2008, 19:51, More)


*yawns*
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 8:19, closed)

There's no need to be so angry and bitter.
Lighten up already!
(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Mon 1 Dec 2008, 10:08, closed)

Shut up.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 10:31, closed)

I'm clicking this.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 10:31, closed)