Stripped to the waist....
Back when I was an angst ridden teenager I suffered a bout abdominal pain that went on for a few months, I'd been sent round the houses to various GP's, Consultants and specialists who conducted various examinations and tests, with a pretty big history of bowel and prostrate cancer in the family they were being very thorough.

It was at about the age of 17 after seeing several doctors I was sent to a consultant for a final diagnosis. I'd been left sat in a waiting room for 45 minutes nervously flicking through year old copies of Womans Own mentally preparing myself for what was sure to come when I was called in.

Now I'd been to loads of doctors and had been bracing myself for this, all the doctors had done it, its probably medical legislation or something..... Tummy trouble + family history of cancer = Prostrate exam.

The guy was a stern looking RAF doctor who without glancing up from my file barked at me

"Right Mr_Yarrrrr, if you can strip to the waist for me please" he then turned to a sink and started washing his hands.

So... I took a deep breath and slipped off my pants.

As he turned round and our eyes met, he slowly looked me up and down and I could tell by the look on his face something was so very very wrong.
"I see... Actually I meant ABOVE the waist... but erm... I suppose we can check that too"

and its as im lying on the bed in the fetus position as he lubes up a finger and pops it in that I suddenly realise that not only have I utterly humiliated myself but ive embarassed the man to the point where the course of action that will allow us to both remain with the most dignity is for him... to finger me!

I have no idea what was said after that, only that I was driven by a huge desire to get the fuck out of that office as quickly as possible.

Though it still makes me cringe when I think of this at least I now know that if your asked to strip to the waist, the doctor ALWAYS means the top half.

*pop*
(Mr_Smythe, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 16:41, 3 replies)

Gah
And I think I speak for everyone here, that we were expecting there to be a punchline that while he had his finger up, you spluffed all over the bed.

Edit: In fact, edit it in, I'll delete this post and you'll probably make it into the newsletter.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 16:48, closed)

The last time I had a physical
the doctor who examined me was a tiny young woman, very pretty, who did all the usual checking with the stethoscope and whatnot, then told me to take off my underwear. She stuck her fingers in my nadgers and told me to cough, took some notes, then told me to get on the table and lie on my side.

The first thing that occurred to me was that I was grateful that she was tiny and female with skinny little fingers, rather than being the male GP with hands like a blacksmith.

The second thing that occurred to me was "Jeez, she could have at least bought me a drink first!"

Somehow I managed not to laugh as she had her fingers in my arse...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 2 Dec 2008, 17:05, closed)

Um, yeah...
When we say "strip from the waist" that means take your trousers off.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 17:51, closed)