Join us... come join the cultA friend of mine recently floored me with the admission that he'd spent several years in Eastern Europe with the Moonies. And he seemed so normal. Have you or your mates disappeared into a cult? Now that the brain-washing has worn off, tell us all about it.
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chthonic, Thu 26 Jan 2006, 17:46)
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Ex-Jehovah's Witness Top TenI was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness but left ‘the truth’ when I was sixteen. Fourteen years (of therapy) later I can now share with you my top ten favourite things about being an atheist.
Ten - Xmas and Birthday Presents.
It’s a bit fucking late though – now I’m old enough to have to buy them for other people as well.
Nine - The Devils Music
He really does have all the best tunes
Eight - Saturday Morning Telly
Can you imagine a childhood without Noel Edmonds and Chris Tarrant? Er…
Seven - Being Apostate
A kind of excommunication. It means JWs aren’t allowed to talk to you. Top Tip eh? See em run
Six - Eating Black Pudding
Folk always bleat on about the blood transfusion thing. But what about that tasty forbidden blood sausage people? What about the blood sausage?
Five - Anal
Wrong-love with a capital A
Four - Drugs
Need I explain?
Three - Metaphysical Peace of Mind
I rest easy knowing the fate of the universe does not hinge upon the contents of my fry-up
Two - Mental Privacy
Knowing I can wank-fantasize about anything without the fear that god is reading my mind
One - I BELIEVE IN DINOSAURS!!
They don’t! Can you imagine banning something so unconditionally cool from childhood? It’s the equivalent of denying the existence of pirates, ninjas, lasers and gold all at once! I’ll never forgive the fucknuts.
Oh, and to all those pissed off by the Saturday morning pests I apologise with the condition that you spare a thought for any poor JW kids you encounter, who’ve no doubt been forced into suits and dragged to your doorstep. Secretly they’re all dreaming of dinosaurs.
(, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 18:05, Reply)
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