Back in the dim and distant past
I was the assistant manager of a store in Guildford.

If you've not had the pleasure of visiting Guildford I shall explain. It is a very nice town which is rather close to London and is therefore populated by cunts. (I apologise to people from Guildford, but I yet to have evidence to the contrary).

The store I worked in was one which sold rather nice house stuff. That meant that our main customers were the wives of said cunts. And believe me they were too.

Throughout the course of the week I'm sure I will remember a number of dealings with said cunts but here is one to get you going.

One Christmas we got in some motorised mirror balls. They proved to be very popular.
Now, this shop had glass doors. One night we had just closed and locked the doors. We were still in the shop but were busy getting our bags and coats to head home.
As we got our stuff and headed to the door we could see this woman charging towards the door like a female pitbull on HRT. We turned the lights out, as we were on our way out, figuring that she would realise we were closed.
Nope, she just charged into the locked closed door leaving a face print on the glass.
Struggling to cover our laughter we unlocked the door and went out.
"I need to come in" shrieked the woman.
"Sorry we are closed and have cashed up" replied my manager.
"Well of all the nerve" replied the woman.

The next day was very busy as it was about 3 weeks before Christmas and these fucking Guildford women can't cope unless their houses look like something out of Homes and cunting Gardens.
At about lunchtime who should walk in but the bulldog that was bothering us after we closed.

"I need a mirror ball"
"sorry" said my manager "we sold the last one this morning.
"Well I tried to buy one last night but YOU wouldn't let me"
"We had closed up and were going home"
"I don't care about that, I need that mirror ball, can you get one in?"
"Sorry I tried to order some today but the suppliers won't have any now before Christmas".
This is a direct quote:
"Well what am I supposed to do now?"

I'd love to say "ask someone who gives a fuck" but sadly I didn't.
Not the most exciting of stories I know but there are many more to come.
Hopefully with better pay offs.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 17:05, 5 replies)

Needs more cunts!
*click* for expert use of the word.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 20:23, closed)

Fully agreed
on the Guildford thing.
(purplegod counting down for Christmas!, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 21:56, closed)

Guildford
has a lovely crown court with some extremely nice witness care volunteers.
( Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 11:25, closed)

What purplegod said

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 14:40, closed)

CLICK
Because I just finished working in an upmarket home store too, and yes, sadly the people who shop there DO get confused, think it's their own house and not realise that when we are CLOSED they can't come in. Also click for cunts.
(Killer Vanilla puts the win in Darwin, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 18:12, closed)