I've got thousands of these
but one will do for now.

Working behind a bar, a suited gentleman approaches and says "10 pints of beer please"

I pour the pints whilst a frustrated queue of customers glares at me, not at him for some reason.

I finish the drink, put them on a tray and say "£30.10 please". At this point he says "Oh sorry, did I say ten, I meant two."

I told him that he would have to pay for the whole lot as he'd ordered them and watched me pull them all like an idiot. He got angry and said that under no circumstances would he let me 'con' him out of £30.

My boss wanders over, glares at me and says "Just charge him for the two". Smug customer picks up his two pints and fucks off.

Boss says to me later "That's coming out of your wages."
(Waspard has your wank bank account details, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 18:30, 9 replies)

what
a cock-gobbling thundercunt
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 18:46, closed)

^ well said
Was that line from Blade 3?

I stored it for future use but had forgotten until now - thank you Vipros for reminding me :o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 19:04, closed)

Obviously a computer geek...
...ordering in binary.
(ubergeekian, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 19:37, closed)

No
Just a twat. "Ten" is ten. Binary doesn't really work when speaking...
( Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 20:07, closed)

That's an odd price
£3.01 for a pint of beer?
(Maccy Divided by 0 on, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 21:02, closed)

^ hehe I thought that!
Must be really annoying if you only have £3 on you
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 11:11, closed)

Pair of sperm-guzzling retards.
I hope the pair of them get cancer of the penis.

(Did you get to drink the beer?)
(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_ =o.o=, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 20:20, closed)

Not at
£3.01 a pint.
(Waspard has your wank bank account details, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 0:36, closed)

Said boss...
...Would have been told to insert his head into his own rectum at high velocity.

I spent a few of my younger years working behind bars, mostly to assist paying for college (at least, that was the general excuse. Most of it got spunked on cheap lager), and I had the 'delight' of encountering several of said fuckwits.

Most of them would pussy out once caught out, after being told that CCTV would record not just their actions but their words (it -was- a few years ago, mind), but occasionally one or two would adamantly swear that they'd been done out of a drink/hadn't ordered what had been poured.

By which point, my (quite genial) manager would approach, make clear I wouldn't have to cover anything, and bitch out the sneaky little rats until they left.

Some bosses just wanted to be on your side, a shame it doesn't happen anymore.
(HomeWithTheDownies A towering inferno of penisy pleasure, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 4:20, closed)