welcome to Hellfords, how may i help?
so it's christmas. that bright, hopeful, giving time of year, goodwill to all men and all that shit.
it's about 5:26pm on christmas eve.
i am finishing the last bike of the day, when this little self-important red-faced man strides in and requests, nay DEMANDS a little bike for 'the boy'
so i go out back and grab him a boxed one.
he then pays, and DEMANDS i build it for him. i explain that the bikes i have been building all day have been booked in for weeks, that we are closing, and i have no time to do it.

he starts going 'what the FUCK am i supposed to do with this? i DEMAND to see your manager AT ONCE!

so i calmly explain thatthe manager is busy with other customers (true) and that the bike comes with instructions and all the tools he needs.
he starts off on this massive rant about how little timmy or whatever the fuck his hellspawn is called is going to be disappointed and he hopes i'm happy ruining a child's christmas (there's other people to serve at this point so i'm multitasking, and giving him the priority he deserves)

i step out form behind the counter and he gets up to his full height, looks me square in the nipple, and screams 'WELL? ARE YOU FUCKIN HAPPY?'
'yes, i replied, perfectly happy. i just finished work *big smile*'

he got RIGHT up to my face, and hissed 'you really are a cunt aren't you?'

i replied 'well sir, being as how my presents are wrapped and ready under the tree, and you're the one screaming at a complete stranger because you didn't bother getting your beloved son a present until closing time on christmas eve and now can't be bothered to build a bike for him, then one of us is DEFINITELY a cunt.
now considering i finished work *checks watch* five minutes ago, i'm no longer representing the company, so if you don't get that chubby digit of yours out of my face, i'm gonna break it off and make you eat it you jumped up little shit.'

i actually got a small patter of applause form the rest of the customers and staff who were still concluding last minute business, and had heard the little exchange.





he waited for me in the car park outside.




and offered me £30 to build it for him then and there.

i told him to get fucked.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 12:02, 2 replies)

Good on you.
I do hate people who try to play the guilt card when they deserve no sympathy, ever.
(Sundayturkey has the biggest mug of tea, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 20:27, closed)

It's a mystery
why these people think this approach will do them any good. If he'd been apologetic and grovelly with his tale of woe, there's a chance you'd have taken his £30. But no...
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 7:42, closed)