rude rude rude
We have in our dept a complete fiveskin* arsehole who is the most petty, OCD, freakazoid weirdo you would ever have the misfortune to sit next to.

We was regaling us with a story a few months ago, about how he ended up having a huge 10 minute shouting session at a young female till attendant and a manager at Borders, almost making the young girl cry.

Would you like to know why?

had the manager torn off his girlfriends jaw, raped and then gutted her with it in front of him? no

Were the till attendant and the manager parading up and down the store covered in blood and excrement with fiveskins parents heads on sticks and wearing their guts for garters? no

Had these two evil Borders staff just unleashed a nuclear holocuast upon western Europe? clearly not.

Oh no, this bloke was ripping shit out of the poor staff because . . . . his Terry Pratchett book was not autographed. Clearly the end of the world is nigh, all shields are down, we are all going to die, this lack of author squiggle is the end of civilisation as we know it!

The worst thing was as he told us this story he was proud, proud of being an unbelievable shit of the highest degree.

Stunning, until I started having a go at him, prick.

I ended up getting a ticking off from the office manager for being mean to him, I swear if the fucker acts like that again and i hear about it im going to beat him to death with his shoes.

grrrrrrrrrrr

*He is one of those people that butts into any office conversation, has done what you were doing only better, has been to places you have gone, has bought a slightly higher quality version of any electrical item you have ever owned etc etc.

So, I have a foreskin, he has to go one better and therefore has a fiveskin.

edit: Oh and apologies Mr Pratchett, but this bloke was such an utter cunt I can no longer buy your books, he has put me off, as every time I see your name on the cover I want to take off my shoe and whack whack whack whack until he stops twitching then whack whack whack just to make sure
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 13:47, 6 replies)

You think that's bad?
I know a guy who you'd want to whack FOUR times, then another four times just to make sure.
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:26, closed)

Also known as
Tommy Two-Shits
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:31, closed)

piss him off
by telling him that i've got signed copies of reaper man and feet of clay. oh, and if he wants his books signed, tell him that terry pratchett often does book signings, but the books don't come pre-signed.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:15, closed)

monkey
apparently *all* of the other ones are signed, thats why this one had to be as well, but he couldn't be bothered to actually turn up and get one signed, he pre-paid and demanded it be.
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:23, closed)

well he's fucked now.
Terry Pratchett has early onset dementia and presumably won't be signing anything.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 8:55, closed)

Hang on
Terry Pratchett makes you want to whack some guy off?

Tee hee
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:01, closed)