Today I have
(a) had to pyhsically crowbar a pc from off a desk that had been welded onto the top of the desk with stale coffee. Old, stale coffee smells like vomit.

(b) had to dismantle a printer as some middle-manager fuck-nugget had installed the toner cartridge upside down. He then attempted to 'fix' this by repeatedly shoving it in some more - really hard.

(c) replaced five mice and keyboards that had been 'screwed' into the back of the ps2 ports, leaving the metal pins bent and in one case - the plastic locator pin sheared off inside the actual ps2 port.

(d) replaced a PSU (and power cable) that some plank had switched to 115V-240 and back again a few times whilst the machines on (we get quite a few of these)

My life would be made an awful lot easier if certain call centre employees would just leave the bloody machines alone. Behind the machines where the 'tubes' and 'wires' live is out of bounds for a reason.
So, if at all in doubt, please don't force, twist, bend, squeeze and generally mangle whilst attempting to 'fix' things yourself. And no, I'll guarantee probably wasn't like that when you got here...

Also, please, please, please stop turning the bloody machines off! (That's you - the "I'm only trying to save energy" eco-types) The machines are meant to be on 24/7. They can't recieve any updates when they're off and that's why it's taking twenty minutes for you to log in next morning as its still pulling down last nights updates.

Even worse - If you turn the machines off it means I have to put down my coffee, get out of my chair to go upstairs to turn the machine on again so I can then go downstairs, run the appropriate diagnostics and actually see what spackhanded fuckup you have managed to make and set about rebuilding it, again.

*Sigh*
(uk_viper stopped lurking on, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:08, 5 replies)

Technical Support...
My most sincere sympathies...

I used to have to call Tech Support for other teachers in my last school.

The guy would run up stairs, face a class room of inbred cretins and find a teacher who had switched off the wireless network card in the laptop...

On another occasion he ran upstairs to find a computer that had been turned into a pen holder during the lunch break. Computers do not work so well when the fan is stuck with pencil in it, there is pen ink drying on the mother board and a wad of paper has been stuck in the vents of the power unit.

Where appropriate I used to help out as much as I could, being a bit of a home computer geek, but sometimes it beggars belief what the cretins do to those fragile delicate work horses.
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:16, closed)

115-240
I thought the trick was to switch to 115 with the machine *off*, so the next poor sod sees an explosion.
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Mon 8 Sep 2008, 19:59, closed)

Either way works.
a flick when its on, or leave it for the next hapless victim. The end result is usually the same, a large pop and smoke. And more work for me of course!
(uk_viper stopped lurking on, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 22:00, closed)

Wake Up On Lan
...is your friend for overnight upgrades.
(Mousy Tongue ...Generally bemused by life..., Wed 10 Sep 2008, 6:13, closed)

@The Fifth Element
About WOL - I agree whole-heartedly, however we don't make the rules or sadly the builds. We just support whatever they decide to roll-out.
(uk_viper stopped lurking on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 7:50, closed)