coffee in a bar
Ever seen the Simpson's episode where they go to Australia? Of course you have.

The sceen in the bar, where Marge is trying to get a coffee and the barman wants to give her a beer? OK, to the story....



Coffee was the bane of my bar tending experience.

I understand why the machine is there, I can even make a pretty good cuppa, but anyone wandering into my bar asking for a de-caf soy latte frappicino got the
"c-o-f-"
"b-e-e-"
treatment.

Anyhow, it was midmorning on a weekend, so I was serving alone. In a very not-so-unusual way I had managed to cut myself quite badly on the lemon knife.

I'd just wrenched the knife out of my hand (it got stuck in my nail) and was attempting to stop the bloodflow and get some band-aids onto it when a bunch of middle aged women came in for coffee.

Why they decided on my pub and not the half dozen cafe's within a 2 block radius I'll never know.

I took their orders and apologised, showing them my hand and explaining that, as I was alone, I'd need to finish tending to my hand before I served them.

About 2 minutes later the complaining started.

They wanted their coffee. They wanted to speak to the manager on duty about my personality issues (that was fun, I was the manager on duty). They wanted to complain about our standards of service and the lack of range in our coffee and tea's. (I explained that this was a bar and I had 6 beers on tap, another 10 or so brands in the fridge and 2 shelves of scotch, they didn't seem to understand.)'

Basically, they wanted their coffee's and they didn't care about my hand.

So I made their coffee's. Before I had gotten my hand fixed up. And I bled liberally into each one as I made it and served it. I even wiped blood off the cup in fromt of them and they just drank their coffee in smug satisfaction, knowing they had ruined my day.

To this day I cannot figure it out.....did they not notice? Or not care?
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 4:30, 5 replies)

Blood sucking
Shrivelled up vampyrous old hags. People don't really care about hygiene, you learn this pretty quickly as a kitchen-hand in a busy cafe. No-one cares that you're bleeding profusely unless there's an inspection underway.
(Harleif Skankhammer II was killing time at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 5:25, closed)

Ugh!
That's feckin grim, but mildly amusing nonetheless.

Hope you are well MissKitty!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 8:57, closed)

they wanted to collect your tears
for the GENESIS MACHINE!!!!
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 9:13, closed)

mmm
did you not tell them you had contracted teh aids from a blackie?
(little lord muthafuckin fauntleroy, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 11:20, closed)

um...no
I didn't tell them that. I thought if they were happy to drink a stranger's blood they might not care....
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:39, closed)