Preparations for the Friday evening rush
at the pub I worked in were taking place. Glasses were being washed, tables cleaned and the odd bit of banter passed between customers and staff.
I only had an hour left of my shift, all was well with the world.

A young couple were sat occupying one of the booths opposite the bar. They had been drinking most of the afternoon and had progressed from slight touchy-feelyness to full on 'heavy petting.'
I stopped perving went to serve a customer and upon my return noticed the girl had vanished. Well, I thought she had until I noticed her leg sticking out from under the table. Her boyfriend was sitting there however, with his eyes closed and his head tipped back. He let out quite an audible sigh, the sigh of a man in fellatio heaven.

My fellow colleagues and I exchanged somewhat shocked glances, a few even laughed nervously before Neil spoke up.
Neil was famed for being a lovely, polite man who also had a tendency for stating the bleeding obvious.
"She's giving him a blow job!" He exclaimed.

It was thus decided that Neil would be the one to go over and ask them to stop. He calmy walked over to the booth and said "Excuse me chaps, but that thing you're doing, well, could you not? It's not very nice."

Our young gentleman friend obviously didn't agree though for it was at that moment he pushed his girlfriend's head away before liberally spurting a quite frankly impressive amount of hot, sticky jizz all over his jeans and her hair and face.

They were asked to clean up and leave.
( wanderlust, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 16:26, 16 replies)

Now that's classy!
*Click*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 16:37, closed)

It was in a yates.
Double the class I'm sure you'll agree!
( wanderlust, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 16:41, closed)

er.........
*click*

for I am speechless.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 16:46, closed)

That's classy
But made me laugh out loud.
were they even embarassed?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 16:52, closed)

They really didn't seem to care!
Ahhh the gobbler and the jizzer as we named them.
Those were the days, those were the days.
( wanderlust, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 17:00, closed)

That. Is.
Dis.gus.ting.

I laughed like an idiot.

Have thee a click!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 17:02, closed)

It has tourettes speechless!?
*clicks*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 9 Sep 2008, 17:16, closed)

^^this
I didn't think it was possible to shock Tourette's!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 17:38, closed)

^ @ PJM & Loon
I wasn't shocked, it merely reminded me of last night when DG shot soft vanilla man emulsion in my hair, just above each ear (he'd been aiming for my tits). As it's allegedly full of protein, I left it on as an overnight conditioner and washed it off this morning.

See the silky locks....

Take 2 bottles into the shower?

Only the one...

Ham & Shoulders.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 18:27, closed)

I....
What......? But.....


*clicks*
(Scrumpy does not negotiate with terrorists,, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:21, closed)

Oh dear oh dear
lolz though *clicks*
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:52, closed)

Erm...
I always was a lousy shot. In touch with my feminine side, see?

*hides head in hands*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:33, closed)

Pffft!
I'm sat in my chair shaking with laughter...

I'm speechless. Thanks tourettes (and for your contribution also DG), you're a bloody legend!

*raises pint*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:41, closed)

Aims at PJM's pint...
and misses. Typical.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:46, closed)

steady on DG
PJM might not like a creamy head on his pint...
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:58, closed)

I wouldn't worry
I think it went in his crisps.

At least he won't have to add salt to them now...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:00, closed)