Not exactly MY customers......
Im studying a BTEC at college, theatre production for those interested. It seems to attract the inbreds of society. I have just met the new first years, and for what its worth these "customers" of the college, are from hell.

Phil- Inflate a grossly overweight man, you get phil. Is apparently "gods gift to the theatre" and "all my shoes have steel toe caps, i bet yous dont". I died a little that day. Oh, who on first day asked if anyone else was a cross dresser!?!

Duane- The cross dresser, i've already put up with him for a year, but today he came in as a man (thank fuck, there is nothing worse than having to endure 2 hours of a 25 year old annoresic dressed as a schoolgirl, pigtails n all.) He was however wearing 7 belts, up his torso.....

New first year girl- When asked for an interesting fact "i like looking for ghosts".... then proceded to meditate (imagine cliche meditation, legs crossed, fingers poised) for 45 minutes, in silence.

Lucy- Grossly overweight, stinks to high heaven, windows are opened, by lectures, when she enters a room, who as she puts it "is shit at everything and im a bitch"

Laura- Wolfmans sister, WORRYINGLY hairy, comically ugly, wears spandex trousers, boots and winnie the pooh puffer waistcoats.

Alex- Aptly nicknamed, "dancing queen", because of his insane obsession with dancing around college, and playing seasons of love on any piano he happens to dance past.

Paul- Typical weirdo, asked girl for phone number, with added "but look i can do the robot" then proceded to have, what we thought was a seizure.

Lee- The goth, whose devised acting peice began with "KILL ALL THE CHILDREN"

Hannah- My stalker, didnt really have a fear of her until during an interval of a performance when I was FOH, points at me and shouts "HIM" to all of her mates who then stare at me for a good 15 minutes. "Faints" whenever im close enough to notice, recovers quickly when i casually step over her and wander off.

Seb- Thinks he is jhonny depp, dresses as captain jack, complete with compass and key to davy jones's box....

Carl- Err, ok, i dont want to wear out my keyboard, so lets go with, once ran out of theatre cyring to the head of department that my mate kicked him in the balls "quote". It was said mates day off..... Hes a little bit "special"

Oh god its going to be a long year, i wish i was lying, i really do, but because of age/ college, most of these people have Myspazzes and Facebooks for proof of lunacy. I just hope my lectures dont hang themselves, becasue i've been bloody close!

2 Years long, the majority 3 ft wide....
(The Urban Badger Pressing the wrong button since 1987, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 13:22, 4 replies)

It sounds to me
like you're far too normal for this course.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 13:30, closed)

I did
the first year of a drama A-Level before I wanted to murder everyone's eyes in with my cock.

I feel your pain.
(Scrumpy does not negotiate with terrorists,, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 13:36, closed)

Well...
Other than the strict b3taness i try to enforce, and my love of teh fluffy, im normal in comparison

For a change
(The Urban Badger Pressing the wrong button since 1987, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 13:50, closed)

I feel your pain
ive just returned to college and amongst my group with have a horrifying panoply of mouth breathers and emo kids

also a reptile breeder, 60 geckos and 30 snakes
(Joe Guevara is well known for stealing your biscuits, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:06, closed)