Currency brokers
..cos we're a small company, registered at company house, with one phone line, we often get USA based brokers ringing us up, trying to convince the MD (who sits opp. me - there's two of us (and sounds similar, bear with me) ) of our multinational conglomerate (yeah right) to exchange currencies via them.

Thing is, they all have this awful arrogant manner. They assume that the first person they speak to (me or the MD) is a receptionist.

Consequently, I behave like one, but one on their last day, who does not give a fuck.

I have a bad feeling the customer from hell might be me.
"MD, please"
"Who's speaking?"
"Todd"
"from?"
"Schneider's"
"..which is?"
"Look just put me through to the MD"
"..is he expecting the call?"
"Is the MD in?"
"Tell me what you want and I might put you through"
"Don't you speak to me like that you goddamn phone monkey!!!"
"Phone monkey? I beg your pardon? I'm working, you're cold calling from the States, and you call me a phone monkey?"
"Fuck you, you're answering the phones, how much do you earn? Not much I reckon, answering your own phones like that, you arsehole."
"Look, I work here, I've got a Ph.D, an easy job and nothing to prove, I don't cold call, who's the phone monkey?"

....Slams phone down

I was out later that week, and my colleague/MD took a call, the contents of which were

"You fucking bastard cunt" (repeated for 5 mins)

Apols. I must have got under his skin.
(Countryslicker, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:09, 3 replies)

We get those too
As well as yanks trying to sell us shares in some company that I have never heard of (and probably does not even exist).

We have a game that is reserved for them and recruitment agencies (another scourge of the earth). We call it phone tennis.

The general aim is to see how long you can keep them on the phone and how many people you can pass them around to until they hang up. you get bonus points for really outrageous names an departments.

For example, recruiment agency scum (RAS) calls: "Can I speak to the person in charge of recruitment"
me: "I'll just put you through".
I then put them through to Tim (who has nothing to do with recruitment.
Tim: "Cryogenics, Dr Rolo speaking" (he got extra bonus points for that)
RAS: "I am after the person who is in charge of recruiting"
Tim: "Ok, you have come through to the wrong department, I'll just put you through" (dials Chris, who has nothing to do with recruitment)
Chris: "Hello canteen" etc.

Our record is 8 transfers and 15 mins.
(Tom Jones's Mojo Hasn't had any since, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:48, closed)

that sounds like an excellent game
wish I could play it in my office.

Unfortunately, I am the only one here most of the times, and there is only 1 phone (which is usually diverted to my boss/gfs mobile)
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:52, closed)

PhD...
Is it wrong i am hoping your PhD is in klingon? Just a funny thought.

If you really want to fuck with recruiter, pretend you are interested, arrange a meeting and get them to pay for your drinks etc. Although there are some nice recruiters out there, so make sure you pick an arsehole.
(StyX is staring at you, yes YOU!!!, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 1:19, closed)