tech customer support
working for a global company sometimes stereotypes get reinforced. (Oh and your piss poor opinion of Microsoft too). The girly on the hepdesk has a filter of questions like is it all switched on? Then you are in it.

There is an application that sits on the back of a satellite receiver and takes in text and puts it in PC files, it is highly secure as the text is commercially sensitive.

it was written to standard widows 32 and runs on anything from 95, NT through to 2000 and most 200x server...however.....

Cue call from a person in africa who could only have been nigerian, but calling from a long way from home but still in africa. He was the felix dexter stroppy nigerian PLUS. (insert the accent and the aggression, thats why capitals)

HELLO I HAVE MY DECODER NOT WORKING IT GIVES PRINT ALL DASHES AND LINES

So you have the items and you can`t read them when printed
YES YES YES
Is this just on print or are you connected to a system?
I HAVE A PRINTER AND A SYSTEM
Ok what is this system on your network?
IT IS AN HP XXX WITH.......
No I meant what system on your network?
WHAT? I TELL YOU IT IS AN HP........

What operating system are you using
I HAVE HP XXX with 200Gb and.......
NO! what operating system
WHAT?
when you click start it says windows nt, 2000... by the side or at the top......
YES! itis XP!
Ok have you read the instructions in the agreement you signed that says which microsoft Os`s are supported?
NO
well xp isnt on the list because of a bug so why have you installed xp and then called us?

NO IT IS NOT WORKING.
Fine....
you built this machine ?
YES

where are You?
( not nigeria but still in Africa as above)

Ok.

I looked through and if you put that location into XP it declares an alternate character set of Hausa, which was what he was getting.
So I went through all the locations and I think south africa had normal roman characters as the alternate set.

Change your location
NO I AM HERE, THIS IS WHERE I WORK.
No on the PC in control panel,
NO I AM HERE WHY SHOULD I DO THIS?

Ok then rebuild your machine, but tell it when it asks, that you are in UK or usa or south africa and adjust the clock.

BUT I AM NOT IN LONDON OR SOUTH AFRICA OR USA. WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME TO DO THIS? YOU DO NOT KNOW YOUR JOB I WISH TO SPEAK WITH SOMEONE IMPORTANT NOW!

I suggest you call Bill Gates then. Since his software doesn`t work he doesn`t make his number public. The minute you said XP I should have just said it is not supported as per the conditions you signed, that is a workaround, I did not have to give you.

you can do it or install an approved OS. there is no problem with supplied software, you are outside terms of support, have a nice day.

YOU CANNOT SPEAK TO ME LIKE THIS

i think you`ll find I just did, because it is correct and appropriate. goodbye!
(tootired Is searching for a funny sig, nothing good so far, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 19:34, 1 reply)

ah yes, african techies
reminds me of the time I was preparing to go to do an installation of a bank payments system in Nigeria. I telexed them (yes) requesting a spec of their PC they wanted the installation on, and they fedexed me a polaroid of them all standing next to it.

I shit you not.
(pounana Slept well, and dreamed of large women, on, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 10:03, closed)