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"Do anything good for your birthday?" one of your friendly B3TA moderator team asked in one of those father/son phone calls that last two minutes. "Yep," he said, "Your mum." Tell us about dads, lack of dad and being a dad.

Suggested by bROKEN aRROW

(, Thu 25 Nov 2010, 11:50)
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Ta Daaa!!!
Bored already? Skip to the The Main Story then, I honestly don't mind.

The wife and I decided some years ago that we didn't want to do the baby thing but still wanted a family, so we decided to adopt. The whole process is a bit of a nightmare is actively designed to put you off (men are considered kiddie-fiddlers until they can prove otherwise) and it can take some time.
So after 18 months of Interesting Times we get to meet the two boys (Bert & Ernie, ages 5 and 3) and they move in, it sounds simple but trust me it is not. That was a year ago and it's been interesting... We always knew it would be as adoptive kids usually come bundled with a whole heap of software problems.

One of weird things about adopting is that you don't really know much about the kids before they come to you, no idea about what they've done, no clue about their favourite films etc. So it can be a bit of a muddle as you work out what works and what doesn't. You sometimes assume things about their experiences and now and again you get caught out, for instance when my wife and I took them to a fireworks night. Bert the eldest thought it was the best thing in the world, he'd never seen fireworks before. At the time he was 5 years old.
5 years old and had never seen fireworks, FFS.

Okay, onto the daft bit.
The Main Story:
So we went to Bristol recently, parked the car in a multi-story, down the stairs, look around, food, look at boats, had a nice day etc.
Time to go back to the car.
Get in lift, off we go, then get out. And Ernie (the youngest) stops.
Me: What's up, kiddo?
Ernie: ..... (looking around)
It's different.
Me: Eh?
Ernie: It's different Dad! It's magic!!! (lot's of smiling)
Me to the wife: Eh?
Wife: He's never been in a lift before...
Me: Ohhhhh....

The little fella now thinks lifts are the best, bless him.

There's still a little magic in the world, it also helps to have a kiddie to point it out to you when you start to forget.
(, Thu 25 Nov 2010, 12:54, 9 replies)
Nice one!
The world could do with a few more of you and your missus.
(, Thu 25 Nov 2010, 13:39, closed)
Where I live
...there is a large council estate at the back of the town, making it about 3 miles from the coast. A while ago there was a survey, which found that a significant proportion of the kids living there had never seen the sea...
(, Thu 25 Nov 2010, 14:36, closed)
I can believe it.
I don't understand it, but I can believe it.
(, Thu 25 Nov 2010, 14:41, closed)
I am now crying a little cry. What lucky children to land up with you
(, Thu 25 Nov 2010, 19:47, closed)

You guys sound really great, they are indeed lucky children. Good luck to you all :)
(, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 3:32, closed)

That's what kids are for! Where there is bollocks, magic will reign!
(, Sun 28 Nov 2010, 4:34, closed)
Ta for nice words.
I have to admit that the wife and I didn't do it for completely altruistic reasons, but on deciding we wanted a family the idea of taking on someone else kids seemed quite natural for some reason.
We do count ourselves very lucky as Bert & Ernie seem to be fairly well adjusted given their life experiences, but only time will tell. We can only do our best.
Scary thing was that when we were going through the whole approval process the agency told us that there were 125 sibling groups in our area that were in care and needed adopting. We then asked how many couples were available to meet the demand, the answer was 1, just one couple.
(, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 10:12, closed)
Aww geez!
Too cute by half to three-quarters.
The most pressing question is though...they seen Sesame Street yet??
(, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 21:19, closed)
Not yet :)
As my wife and I have missed out on some their education we are currently introducing them to:-
Jason & the Argonauts
Sinbad films
Star Wars (Original, of course)
Tom & Jerry
Bug Bunny

You get the idea.
(, Tue 30 Nov 2010, 9:57, closed)

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