Dad's a lovely bastard
The relationship I have with my dad is one of opposites. He's the one person who pisses me off more than any other in the world. He's also the one who shares my sense of humour to a tee. If we're both in a good mood everything will be raucous and jolly. If either of us are in a bad mood we'll be tearing each other apart within minutes. He's a cunt or a bigger cunt, but I still love him.

Two things he's done that stand out:
He likes to freak me out. When I was 13 he asked if I could imagine him & my mum getting it on. Um, no. Urgh. "So you can't imagine your mother crawl around the floor exhausted?" Arrrrrrrggggghhhh! La, la, la! Can't hear you!
I ran from the room with his cackling ringing in my ears. Unfortunately it's a mental image that won't go away.

The other thing epitomises how lovely he can be. When I was 5 I came home from school distraught. My wobbly tooth had come out at school & had been put on a filing cabinet for safe keeping. Somehow it had managed to fall behind this cabinet which was screwed to the wall. How was the tooth fairy going to collect my tooth now? I was going to lose out on 10p here (this was the 70s, 10p was a lot). Disaster. My dad rang the operator and asked if she would mind being the tooth fairy to cheer up a disconsolate child. She did. I was delighted and totally convinced that I had spoken to the tooth fairy. I told all my friends that it was far better speaking to her than just leaving your tooth under the pillow anonymously. You got 5 times more money. My dad was gutted to have had to cough up the 50p she promised me instead of the usual 10p, but he didn't let on until I was well into my teens.

I think that makes up for the hundreds of horrible arguments we have had since. He can be a shit too. But he's my loveable shit of a dad.
(crustyonion, Sat 27 Nov 2010, 22:24, 1 reply)

Your parents had sex.
You should probably get used to the idea; if they hadn't, you wouldn't exist.
(Pie of Meat ___°¬¯O¯____\o/_____/\_,____Y¯¯Y, Sun 28 Nov 2010, 2:05, closed)