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This is a question Dad Jokes

We want to know the lame jokes your Dad makes. E.g. On your mum putting the roast on the table, "All for me? What are you going to eat?" On writing you a cheque for 350, "Three pound fifty? That's cheap." - What are the frankly rubbish gags your dad cracks again and again? WARNING: If you become a dad you'll be doing this stuff too.

(, Wed 10 Dec 2003, 2:09)
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More nicknames-related than jokes...
Considering my father's idea of jokes is blatantly repeating every episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus and Fawlty Towers, he tends to save his creativity in creating nicknames for people and stores, e.g.

Red Rooster = Red Rooter
K-Mart = K-Fart
Charlie Dimmock = Tits, and
Some poor lass with a considerable overbite = Jaws.

When as drunk as can possibly be he will either ask you to "close your eyes and open your hands", leaving you with the present of his false teeth or teeter around the house, a red bed spread covering his 6'4" frame squealing in falsetto that he's feckin' Little Red Riding Hood.

Also, when delivering his speech at my wedding he said "if you have problems with her, do what we did: put her on a leash".

Oh, how we all laughed.
(, Wed 10 Dec 2003, 5:26, closed)

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