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This is a question Dad Jokes

We want to know the lame jokes your Dad makes. E.g. On your mum putting the roast on the table, "All for me? What are you going to eat?" On writing you a cheque for £350, "Three pound fifty? That's cheap." - What are the frankly rubbish gags your dad cracks again and again? WARNING: If you become a dad you'll be doing this stuff too.

(, Wed 10 Dec 2003, 2:09)
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Becoming your dad - a warning for young gentlemen everywhere
A word of warning - you do turn into your dad. I’m now thirty-seven with childs, and now find myself reading the Sunday Times and falling asleep in an armchair in a frightening repetition of history that did not seem possible in 1977. I also recycle the jokes that he told us a quarter of a century ago, and I’d be prepared to wager that he stole them off his dad while running round Essex during the War.

For example, Scaryduck Jr’s current favourite joke has been passed from father to son, father to son down the generations:

“I went into a Chinese restaurant the other day. I said to the waiter ‘This meat is rubbery’ to which the waiter replied (Chinese accent) ‘Ah! Thank you very muuuch!’”.


Whereas my old man spoke to me with voices stolen from the Goon Show, my children puzzle over embarrassing dad’s Weebl and Bob-isms. Scaryduckling now has the entire script to Mony Python and the Holy Grail memorised and will answer her father’s question “What do we burn apart from witches?” with a resigned shrug and “More witches.”

You will grow old. You will become the crap, embarrassing dad with crap dad jokes (unless you can’t have kids or are in the gayers). Mark my words, and mark them well.
(, Wed 10 Dec 2003, 20:15, Reply)

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