Northern Hospitality
Midnight, Manchester city centre. Just this Wednesday, in fact. I’d been sent to Manchester for a course, and given that the course was starting at 9am, I’d insisted on an overnighter. What better way to spend it than when another b3tan? And so I spent a very pleasant evening in the pub with the esteemed Enzyme.

After we had gone our separate ways, and having chatted to the missus for a bit on the phone, I decided to wander out of the hotel for one last smoke. Leaning against the wall, my long leather coat billowing slightly in the breeze and the street lighting giving the smoke I exhaled an eerie yellow glow, I noticed a woman scurrying along the street and making a rapid beeline for... me, it would appear. A woman whom it was difficult to age – I suspect she was a lot younger than she looked, but the lines on her face and the unkempt nature of her barnet had aged her prematurely.

“’Scuse me love, you got the time?” She asked. I looked at my watch and told her it was coming up for midnight. “Ooh, blimey, it’s later than I thought”.

*Heartbeat pause*

“Do you fancy a good time then, love?”

“Er, no thanks”, said I, visibly recoiling from the single, snaggled tooth protruding from her top gum. On reflection, it offset her straggled, slightly greying hair perfectly.

“You sure? Only a tenner”, she pressed further, determined to reach some kind of trade.

“No, really. Besides, I’m married”, I offered by way of explanation. Not that it required an explanation, but I felt that my marital status would act like some kind of ‘deflect-o-street walker’ shield.

“Fair enough, love. You have a good night”, she said cheerily, and ambled off in her own merry way and leaving me to finish my smoke in slightly bemused peace.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 Jul 2009, 13:48, 14 replies)

Ahhhh... classy.
:)
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 13:59, closed)

How did she get there that quick?
You'd just got off the phone with her!
(Donkey Hotay Tilting At Windmills Since, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 14:01, closed)

Naughty...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 Jul 2009, 14:01, closed)

*Cheeky Grin*
Hopefully gets away with it.........
(Donkey Hotay Tilting At Windmills Since, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 14:03, closed)

I have a full set of teeth, thank you very much! ;o)

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 14:03, closed)

And I'm sure
Your coiffeur is quite simply top drawer.
(Donkey Hotay Tilting At Windmills Since, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 14:04, closed)

*grins*
DIY job I'm afraid. Welcome to b3ta btw :)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 14:06, closed)

You shoud've said,
"I can get free blow-jobs at home."
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 14:02, closed)

Lovely manchester
When my mum 1st came to visit me the first thing she said with delight was "I've just seen my first hooker!"
( w3rthers because you're someone very special too, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 14:15, closed)

I have never been asked "Do you fancy a good time?"
which is a shame because I would love to say "Yes I do, go away"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 14:15, closed)

mmm
sounds like an edited version of the more likely events, which concluded with you haggling her down to £6.50 before she removed her teeth and set about sucking your cock with all the grace of an epileptic woodpecker.

i know your sort, what goes on tour stays on tour....
(little lord muthafuckin fauntleroy, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 15:54, closed)

Which of the many...
...hotels in Manchester was this? Because something similar happened to me last weekend as I walked back from the opera heading for my hotel :P except I just ignored them totally.
(Lord of Balrogs, Sat 25 Jul 2009, 3:39, closed)

Novotel in the city centre.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 25 Jul 2009, 12:38, closed)

'Clicks' then moves to Manchester.
(i anglepoise, Sat 25 Jul 2009, 7:12, closed)