Whilst working on my car
I was 18 & it was my first car, one of the the old 'hearse' shaped Volkswagen polo 'C's and I loved it very much. 70,000 miles and it had cost me £400 of my own money (None of my folks buying my first car for me thankyouverymuch) I had great fun with it, from local track days to just pottering round the back roads of where I lived at the time.

I had done silly (but insurance declared - I had the premiums to prove it - £1000 plus!) things to it and I was forever tinkering with it. Out had come the old 1.1 head and a rebuilt, ported and skimmed 1.3 had been put in (same block) Twin carbs, alloys, better sparks, uprated ignition points and cables, decent filters, uprated brakes and slightly stiffer gas shocks and lowered springs. I also in the latter stages of ownership added a custom built 4-2-1 stainless steel exhaust. I'd spent a fortune on the damn thing and I was throughly enjoying the whole tinkering part of car ownership, finding out the whys and hows and I was really starting to fancy myself as a bit of a mechanic.

On the outside it still looked like a bog standard 1.1 as well. I had avoided those horrendous bolt on kit monstrosities that seemed to be so common in my (then) age bracket. Hell, it even had the same amount of speakers as it did when it rolled out of the factory.
It also went like stink (well, for a 1.3 shopping trolley) very much to the annoyance of a few 1.3 Nova Sr owners and a few track day participants at the time... Anyways.

It was a Sunday morning and I was moderately hung over and perhaps, in hindsight, not thinking the best. I was replacing the front brake pads, cleaning the carbs and replacing the jets at the same time. Not a particularly hard job, just fiddly and awkward.
I was with my girlfriend of the time and she was 'helping' me by sitting on the garage bench and talking at me about the cause of last nights hangover...

I had jacked the car up at one corner on one of those scissor jacks and was working on one of the front brakes when my aforementioned girlfriend decided that it would be a good time to change the radio station, which she did by jumping in the car, crawling over the front seat and proceeding to change the radio station / Cd track. This had the result of knocking the car off the jack and onto the ground. Onto me. I had started to roll out of the way as soon as I had caught the movement out of the corner of my eye and the car crashed down onto its brake disk about six inches from my face, one of the suspension / steering arms catching me across the cheek and grazing me, This also had the effect of pinning me under the car, by my head. It was that close...

Once the shrieking was over and my father had been called from the house to help jack the car up again. I'd had to console my then partner, mostly due to two things, one was the shock of her having nearly killed me and the other was over the names I'd called her as I was pinned underneath.

Anyways, luckily, as it turns out the car was fine, the jack had collapsed under the brake disc, giving it a softish landing and giving me an extra half inch or so, so there was no real damage done bar soiling of underwear. We each had a smoke and I proceeded to change the front brakes with no further incidences. I also was now using my father's hastily supplied trolley jack which I initially couldn't be bothered to get from his car.

When that was complete I'd moved onto the carbs. I'd removed them, cleaned them, re-jetted them and replaced them back in the engine, and I was adjusting the mix and idle screws to get it 'just sweet'. The engine was running and the filters were off the top of the carbs so I could get under them with the screwdriver. I was about 98% of the way complete when I decided to have a break, a coffee and smoke and just let the engine properly warm up so i could listen to it for any obvious hitches or hiccups.

We were chatting, well actually I was re-iterating very loudly about how stupid it was of her, what was she thinking and how careful you have to be whilst working round machines and how you had to have your wits about you at all time etc.. We had nearly finished our coffee when the engine started to run off a little and I asked the missus to blip the throttle a few times while I had another fiddle with the carbs.

This is when I 'woke up' from my hangover and found myself, a lit cigarette in mouth and pulling on it deeply, hanging about an inch over a set of dual carbs just as my better half floored the throttle in the drivers seat.

I never had a chance, a large whoosh of flame engulfed my head. I fell backwards out it, but alas it was too late, my eyebrows, fringe and eyelashes had went the way of all good things and to add insult to injury - I had also spilled my coffee. :-(

I didn't say a word to my girlfriend, at least not after the initial shock - I couldn't have, she'd never have heard as she was too busy laughing.

For two weeks later - My face had the appearance of having been sat under a sunlamp for two long. Think of a blotchy, red, hairless egg and you wouldn't be far wrong.


I now work in I.T.
(uk_viper stopped lurking on, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 11:49, 19 replies)

Jaysus.
But have a resounding cheer for owning a Mk2 Polo as I love those cars with a passion that is probably inappropriate.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 11:54, closed)

Not at all.
There were a few of us! My mate had a series of them as well, we loved them and pretty much had rebuilt most of them from the chassis up with a 10mm spanner. Those and proper minis - not those 'orrible new BMW thingies.
(uk_viper stopped lurking on, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 11:59, closed)

Worringly,
I have this picture on my mantelpiece. Framed. Beside photos of my family and loved ones:


( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 12:07, closed)

That's the one! :-)
I loved mine as well, mine was blue though! They were absolutely bombproof. We once got one through an MOT after a mate had put it through a hedge backwards and bent the chassis by chaining one end to a tractor and the other end to a mates motor and driving in different directions. After that, just a little bit of filler in the kink in the subframe and she sailed through! :-)
(uk_viper stopped lurking on, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 12:19, closed)

Yay for proper minis!
They're just like bloody Mechano! Something goes wrong - reconditioned part is about £10 and you can just bolt it on and go!

I've been dreaming of getting a 2.0L 16v Calibra engined Clubman for a while now - had my 25th birthday last week so insurance is not bad, still kept a clean licence 'til now and don't need a big car anymore so can sell it and begin the project. Those Vauxhall red-top engines are good for around 180bhp BEFORE tuning so I'll post the inevitable Darwin story back here when it's done!
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Fri 13 Feb 2009, 15:23, closed)

Indeed.
We had loads of fun with a joint owned project between a couple of my mates in the form of a completely stripped out, tuned to the hilt, bored out cooper 1.3 with a stage 3 road / rally head and cams, koni shocks, minilites, road slicks and competition brakes & pads. It was an absolute terror on the track days, as nothing could sit with it through the corners and you could play with the 'big boys' rightly. Good times & as you said - cheap racing!

I've seen a a turbo'ed 2.0L mini with the 16V engine make a mockery of much bigger and much more expensive cars. By all accounts unless the suspension and brakes are well sorted the under-steer can be a bit of a problem though. :-)
(uk_viper stopped lurking on, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 16:17, closed)

Brilliant cars aren't they!
Did yours have the fantastic clutch that doesn't bite at all until your knee nearly meets your chest, at which point you get all the power all at once, or was that just my mate's?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 12:12, closed)

Mine was different.
The bite point would seem to move depending on what mood the car was in. Then the clutch cable broke, they certainly had character :-)
(uk_viper stopped lurking on, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 12:23, closed)

the clutch
was the only thing working in ours after we finished our 10,000 mile (several thousand of those off road) journey in it. At that stage we had no exhaust at all, no fuel tank, 2 gears (no reverse), no handbrake, no brakes, no wipers, no lights, and a driver's door that wouldn't open because we'd crashed twice. But the clutch was fine. And still it kept going.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 12:41, closed)

Ahhh
You gotta hand it to 'em. They don't build them like that anymore.

*wipes tear from eye*

You can still see the occasional one dotted around the roads over here, admittedly, usually driven by 80-90yr old women at this point - but they're still here! I had mine over 14 years ago and it was from from new then. What finally killed the one In my tale was when my Girlfriend, shortly after passing her test, drove it into a tree on an icy morning. It was still running but MOT guys said no next time it was up, two weeks later. They may have had a point - It was driving like a crab. :-(

So I went straight out, bought another and transferred everything that could be saved over to the new chassis.
(uk_viper stopped lurking on, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 12:53, closed)

Tough little cars
The hatchback answer to Top Gear's Hilux.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 13 Feb 2009, 13:20, closed)

Polo
I had a Mk2 Polo before my Golf GIT.

45bhp and 1043cc. No brake servo. The best thing about it was that you could rev the engine to the point of destruction and corner it on the doorhandles.

The most extreme I ever saw was a guy who'd fitted a Volkswagen G40 engine to his Mk2 Polo. It was only 1.3 litres but it was supercharged and good for 113bhp - the same as a stock Golf GIT.

That wasn't enough however, thanks to a custom exhaust and new ECU it was somewhere in the region of 160bhp by the time he finished with it.

160bhp. And no brake servo.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 13 Feb 2009, 13:12, closed)

Sounds like a recipe
For a disaster. The stock brakes were bad enough from memory, they were the first thing that got changed on mine.

regarding older VW's - A mate had the VW Corrado G60 and I'd still have your arm off for one of those or a R32 version today. Gorgeous looking motors still.

*Goes to google for a quick reminisce*
(uk_viper stopped lurking on, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 13:41, closed)

My bro had two Corrado VR6s...
...the nicest sounding engine ever and the nicest chassis I've ever driven. Even more throttle steerable than the Mk2 Golf GIT.

Gorgeous.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 13 Feb 2009, 13:52, closed)

That 2.9 block was so heavy, that was the only downside!
Plenty of power though...

And kudos to VW for keeping the engine mounts similar enough for so many years that plenty of this mental engine swapping could be accomplished! You can get a VR6 in a mk1 Golf, but it's a tight squeeze.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 14:05, closed)

Drools
I'd have loved one, but due to me being a stupid twat and subsequently acquiring 3 points on my license at the ripe old age of 20-21 - I was completely un-insurable for anything above a 1.3 for a year or two. I'd love to get my hands on one now though, thought at this point good ones are like hen's teeth
(uk_viper stopped lurking on, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 14:30, closed)

There's a guy selling a *mint* G40 down south right now
Have a look on clublupo.co.uk If I had £2k sitting around and I wasn't at the other end of the country, I'd be there in a shot.

BTW - "hearse" = "breadvan" in the community.

dxg - a moderator on uk-polos.net. Yes, there's a website for everything...
(dxg, Sat 14 Feb 2009, 11:16, closed)

Breadvan!
:-) You learn something every day!
(uk_viper stopped lurking on, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 16:18, closed)

Nice!
click!
( SpankyHanky, Sat 14 Feb 2009, 19:53, closed)