Trains in the middle of the fucking street
Cast your mind back to 1994 and Imagine if you will the young Australian traveller on his first visit to the continent. After a 24 hour flight to Frankfurt and a 4 hour train ride he arrives at Amsterdam for his first taste of the Dutch.

After finding a cheap and seedy hotel, he ventures to the nearest café to see if the rumours are true and you really can buy dope over the counter. Imagine if you will his utter delight when he finds not only can you buy the aforementioned brew but, you have a variety of interestingly named types to choose. With skunk, super skunk, northern lights, blonde bomb or grasshopper special blend running through his over excited brain he murmurs to the resident purveyor,

“What’s your best shit mate?”

For which the retailer asks “what sort of high are you looking for?”

“I want it to smash me”

40 guilders later he is clutching a bag of super skunk. Taking a seat at the bar, he orders a coffee (consumption compulsory) and roles up fat spliff after fat spliff disappearing for several hours into a cloud of pungent smoke.

Finally he makes to leave, baseball hat crammed on to his head, sun glasses firmly on face, back pack on shoulder he strides out the door and across the street when he hears it……………

The faintest of ding dings.

For reasons unknown,

he stops,

dead in his tracks as a rush of wind buffets his face and a 20 tonne tram knocks the baseball hat from his head and under it wheels.

“WHAT SORT OF COUNTRY IS THIS WHERE THEY HAVE FUCKING TRAINS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET” he cries to no one.

3 more inches forward, he would have died that day a long way from home where nobody new his name.
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 7:35, 8 replies)

Amsterdam
I live not far from Amsterdam, amazing place and such a wide variety of things to get run over by. Cars, bikes, bus & trams are all trying to kill tourists out their heads on gear.

Been English apparently I have "That look" about me so I get offered more coke, pills etc in an hour walking round there than most get people in a lifetime.

Cool country though and te people are nice, well they keep selling me weed anyway.
(amsterdam_neild, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 7:50, closed)

I found on my sojourns
that everything in Amsterdam moves at the same speed. Bikes, trams, cars, you name it. All move fast enough to do a load of damage.

Good grass though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 8:22, closed)

Ah.. Amsterdam
..where if the snelltram doesn't get you, the tweeweelers will.

I nearly got knocked down by some lunatic on a bike. To add insult to injury he yelled something about me being a "Surrey Whore".

I'm not from Surrey.

It's actually a really interesting place, once you get away from the cafes full of British students boasting about how many spliffs they've smoked..
( Stevedix http://www.stevedix.de/blog, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:26, closed)

Aha
You are my new favourite antipodean.

*click*
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 9:49, closed)

Er, Australia?
They have loads of big fuck-off trams in Melbourne...
(rockdoctor, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 13:06, closed)

That
Was my first thought too.


They're in the middle of the road as well.
( MatJ LOOK, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 18:06, closed)

But I am a Sydney sider
and no self respecting Sydney sider goes to Melbourne, it is a shit hole.

What's the best thing to come out of Melbourne?

the Hume Highway (road to Sydney)
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 3:17, closed)

as if
Melbourne is the trendiest city here- all the sydney-siders go there all the time.
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 3:20, closed)