Actually using the same shit pun that has been trotted out a million times already...
I fucking hate office whip rounds for birthdays, I never contribute to them and don't want to be part of them. Recently, someone sent a request to everyone in the fucking department, intent on organising a whip round for each birthday that comes up. I resisted, but after they moaned to the director about me 'not being part of the team' I eventually gave them a date. The 31st November 2014. I still refuse to contribute to these fucking collections, so am not allowed to sign any cards.

It's actually up on a whiteboard to remind everyone, so on the 24th November everyone will 'secretly' be passing an envelope and card around without actually realising that my birthday was a few weeks before.

I can't wait to see the looks on their fucking faces when they realise.
( Muns, Wed 10 Sep 2014, 15:21, 4 replies)

Oh, you anarchic rebel you!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 Sep 2014, 21:36, closed)

At least it's not another sex lie or piss poor pun.
Check me!
( Muns, Thu 11 Sep 2014, 9:31, closed)

I'm going to wank to it anyway.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 11 Sep 2014, 10:00, closed)

I arrived at work one morning to discover cards and cake and even a present from the boss.
All for my birthday. Pity it was seven months too early. Stupid HR bint.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 11 Sep 2014, 12:11, closed)