"Honey, if you ever come in someday and I'm dead........."
My late husband Dave, had emphysema. We had separated for a while in 2007 but I had planned on moving in with him in his new apartment down the street. During our separation I still took care of him as he'd become very weak and had many attacks. I saw him nearly every day. I spent his 57th birthday with him on that Wednesday evening on Aug. 8th. I gave him a hug & kiss goodbye and told him, "See you Friday."
That Friday I called ahead to see if he needed anything like bread, milk, etc. No answer. "Ah, he's sleeping or in the shower", I thought. I brought in Dave's newspapers from Thursday and that day. "He must be having a really hard time." I tip-toed past him on the couch and layed his papers on the chair. "Wow. He's out cold." With a puffer in one hand and the remote in his other, he looked like he was about to wake up, smile and say as usual, "Hellowwww. You're here!"
I stepped back to him...."Dave....Dave...." All of a suddden my stomach lurched and my heart felt like it was about to explode. I didn't hear him breathing and his chest was still. My knees buckled and I was kneeling beside him. I saw the dark red underside of his extremities and it smacked me in the face. Dave had been dead for some time, apparently since the evening of his birthday when I last saw him.
After dialing 911 I cried beside him, gazing at his now skeletal but once beautiful face. His crinkly, smiling eyes had sunken. His 'kissylips' were thin and dark. I looked away from the scariness and I kissed his ice cold, bare shoulder, just wanting him back. Not fair though....he had been struggling for years with the disease. Dave had simply died in his sleep. (the best way possible) He didn't see it coming either. He warned me for years that this could happen. I didn't want to believe it.
Yes, I was upset and traumatized yet I was relieved for him.
(OGH, Sun 2 Mar 2008, 5:36, 5 replies)

never know what to say to these things
"sorry for your loss" has been ruined by almost every crime tv show known to man. But i am sorry that you had to go through that.
( KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Sun 2 Mar 2008, 6:06, closed)

*clicks*
That must have been awful. I'm so sorry you had to go through something like that. At least least he died peacefully in his sleep, like you said.

This got a few sniffles out of me, especially at the 'kissylips'.
(Wheeler back off Amazon, she's mine!, Sun 2 Mar 2008, 13:16, closed)

Remembering with him with a smile now.
Thanks for your replies. But - that's life, right? I'm really glad he died so peacefully and Dave always looked forward to the day that I could move on. I'm 10 years younger than he was. I have moved on but I miss him. I don't think of him lately in the way I found him. His irresistible lips were only one of the countless things I'll never forget about him and he still gives me the 'warm fuzzies'.
When I saw the QotW I hesitated but feel glad that I posted.
This helped me actually and I hope it helps others.
(OGH, Sun 2 Mar 2008, 15:25, closed)

I just wanted to say...
i thought that was beautifully told, it brought a tear to my eye.
(Batemonkey, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:14, closed)

On a lighter note...and there are many.....
Dave was hilarious and often joked about his demise. He got a scowl from me when he asked me about 2 years ago straight-faced to put his ashes in our compost heap. I promised him I'd scatter his ashes down at Lake Ontario and Cranberry Marsh. With a seated happydance and a big grin he exclaimed, "Excellent...my favourite! We're goin' down to the lake! I love chickadees. Thank-you."
Thanks for your posts everyone. Keep smilin'.
(OGH, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 18:05, closed)