I'm typing this one handed, the other hand has
slapped itself firmly against my forehead, as it always does in recollection of this adolescent memory. Dredging up regret is great isn't it. Thanks B3ta :)

I'd just started getting very close to a friend of mine who I'd fancied for ages (lets call her twin#1), she was beautiful, kind and funny as fuck. Absolutley besotted. Being a shy one it'd taken me a massively long time before I managed to pluck out the feather of courage from the chicken of cold sweats and heart palpatations and tell her how I felt. Well, as it turned out she felt the same (queue bubbling butterflies in belly).

However, she had a twin sister (twin#2), obviously just as attractive but no where near as good a personality and a little bit more unhinged mentally but an ok mate all the same. Anyway it all came about at a house party, and this twin#1 or 'lass of my dreams' (who was rather pissed and stoned and having paranoid twin thoughts) expressed her worry that I fancied her sister just as much as her. I, also pissed and stoned with little experience of the female psyche and at having my heart in my throat when hearing this, bumbled out some crap with a possibly perceived lack of passion which didn't do enough to reassure her. Subsequently she stubornly decided to believe herself instead of me.

*Interlude*

Welcoming on board my old friend 'defeatist attitude' I proceeded to drown my sorrows with three quarters of a bottle of cheap vodka and ended up in this sort of state... www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-XAJ8sD_lM

*Interlude over*

Later in the night, sat on a chair in a room by myself spinning out to fuck, twin#2 comes in and starts talking to me for a while. By this point I can only utter brief mumblings and grunts of how much I like her sister. In response to this and to my surprise she blurts out how much she likes me and in the blink of an eye I'm straddled with lips planted firmly on my face. For the first 10 seconds my booze ridden brain was still catching up with what was transpiring. However in the mean time my lower brain (located in the trouseroblongata) said 'this is fucking ace! keep this going!! At this exaaaaact moment, and I emphasise EXACT massively, twin#1's head just pops in through the door, gives a me a mortified look and pegs it. I panic, throw twin#2 to the floor and take up chase.
Didn't work. An uber excessively inebriated, cock legged, alcohol novice, 16 year old boy can't even catch a spatchcocked cockerspatula in a cock eyed spatula cocking competition (scientific fact).

Anyway after this failed pursuit I return to my previous stupor x10 only to then unsuspectingly be greeted, out of no where, by a volley of very firm punches to the face by twin#2 for throwing her on the floor mid passionate embrace. Needless to say blah blah blah nothing happened with either of them again.

We're all still really good mates now surprisingly and oh, how we laugh together about that fateful night. HA HA Ha ha ha h h *cough* *sniff* *weep*
(Braising Squid, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 23:40, 4 replies)

Ho ho
nicely written
(Smale is stuffed, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 9:49, closed)

Click for sympathy and good writing
...I really hope it's true!

Hm, that sounded callous, but you know what I mean.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 10:30, closed)

queue cue
(TheColonel, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 11:47, closed)

See
www.b3ta.com/questions/toptips/post870833
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:14, closed)