About a Boy
Appologies for lenght in advance.

Not so long ago, when I was still in University I was dating a lad called Alex. It was going well so one weekend I decided to take him to my friends 21st birthday party back home and introduce him to my parents. We drove up on the Friday afternoon and he met my parents all was going well and we started getting ready to go to my mates birthday party and night out.
Me being a proper Geordie I drink like fish and swear like a trooper, him being a southerner was a little prim and proper and could manage about 2 pints and he was pissed.
There a drink we have locally called skittles (different variations around the country) and its quiet strong and get you very pissed quiet quickly. Being the nice girlfriend that I am warned him not to keep up with me and my friends and not to drink skittle as he can’t even handle 2 pints.
So we head off to the party and start drinking, enjoying many pints of classy cider with shot chasers. I’m a little tipsy and he’s off his head we head to our favourite club where the drinks are on 2 for 1. My friends being in the mood for fun decided to buy him skittles. After about 6 of these I notice that he is falling all over the place and completely off his face, for the purpose of damage limitation I was drinking his drinks extra free drinks as well as mine. I knew it was time to go home when I found him sat outside the lads toilets talking absolute shit and could walk. I’m only 5’3” but I manage to pick him up carry him out the club, get a taxi and get him back to my parents.
My parents being slightly old strict made us sleep in separate bed to protect my virtue, which may i say went years ago and no protection required. I undresses him and puts him into bed and give him a bucket to be sick in (classy I know) and goes into my bedroom. About 5 minutes I hear a very loud bang (shit! I hope it hasn’t woke my parents) I go into his room and find him lying on the floor so I pick him up and put him back in bed and again go back to my room. 10 min later I hear him stumbing about and make it to the toilet, I being pissed and comfortable in bed decide to not get up and make sure he’s ok, BIG MISTAKE. The next thing I hear is him vomiting but the noise isn’t the noise you normally hear of someone being sick it the toilet. I out of bed like a shot and across the landing to the toilet, I open the door the find him covered in bright green sick (thanks to the skittles) and the toilet walls, carpet and toilet cover in sick. At this point I couldn’t give a shit if I woke my parent up I yell at him at the top of my voice “what the fuck have you done!” I pick him up by the back of his t-shirt drag him into the bathroom and chuck him in the bath.
At this point both of my parents are out of bed and have come to see what was going on, my mum bless her went n got the cleaning products, while my dad walks into the bathroom takes one look at Alex turns the shower on and starts pissing himself in laughter whilst showering him off and cleaning him up and drags him into his bedroom and puts him back to bed. At this point me and my mum are cleaning the toilet and pissing ourselves in laughter at Alex and my dad.
The next day he didn’t surface till about 6pm, Id been shopping, out for lunch and was getting ready to meet my dad and brother in the pub by the time he got up. He was a rough as gandies flip flop and you know what my answer was for that. “Get ya sel dressed were going to the pub in 20 mins to meet me da!”
Entering the pub all the lads at the bar had heard the story of the previous night and had aptly name him “spewie” and he looked rather sheepish and mortified that everyone knew what had happened. Did I give him sympathy? Did I shit! He got the worst ribbing from me! And guess what we did to him that night got him even more pissed on pints of John Smiths and Sambuca chasers!
Driving back home the next day he hardly spoke to me in the car on the way back to university, and once back into typical university life, I decided that I wanted a more manly man and he was so mortified about what had happened we split up.
What was I thinking introducing him to my parents, note to self make sure you man can handle his drink before taking him home to meet my parents and it could cost me the price of new carpet!
(snugglesacks, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:56, 2 replies)

Haha.
Charming.
( 6821isnotmyPIN Bored cig., Mon 27 Sep 2010, 4:29, closed)

I was once sick in my dads toolbox.
Is that why you don't love me?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 11:59, closed)