I'm really a hot 16 year old girl.
I just pretend to be a sad, pathetic, friendless shut-in on the internet for LOLs.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Mon 11 May 2015, 11:35, 9 replies)

i heard you were actually hot identical twin 16 year girls
desperate for an internet nerd to introduce you to the pleasures of the world.

("world of warcraft" doesn't count)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 May 2015, 12:49, closed)

Shh!
I didn't want anybody to know we were really twins who are only on the internet because boys in real life aren't interested in us and we want real men from the internets.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Mon 11 May 2015, 16:04, closed)

Watch out or swipe'll try and put her willy in you.

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Mon 11 May 2015, 17:27, closed)

i'm his 16 year old twin
we especially like sweat stains and neck beards and comedy t-shirts and men who live with their parents in a specially converted basement gaming room.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 May 2015, 18:15, closed)

Damn-it, sis!
Now you're getting me all wet thinking about them and their coffee-breath and Games Workshop toys.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Mon 11 May 2015, 19:04, closed)

i can't sit still for thinking about their pebble-thick glasses, nicotine stained fingers, floppy floppy moobs
and pasty skin from not having seen the sun since 2003
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 May 2015, 19:22, closed)

damn you
I don't have nicotine stained fingers.
I'm not allowed to smoke after the last "incident" with matches
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Tue 12 May 2015, 9:41, closed)

well you won't do for me
but ask my sister mei'mnot, she's much less fussy
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 9:49, closed)

^has just spluffed

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:03, closed)