4 years of continuous pain
As a child I was inflicted with a combination of genes that meant, according to my dentist's little chart of Anglo-Saxon jaw and tooth sizes going back through history, I had fucking massive teeth in very small jaws. This meant that my upper secondary incisors were behind my lower canines, all my lower incisors were in a straight line about a centimetre further back than they should have been, my front teeth were at a forty-five degree angle pointing at my shoulder and, were my wisdom teeth ever to come through, they would not only make my teeth even more crowded but they would come out at 90 degrees - effectively growing into the insides of my cheeks. I was fitted with an expandable plate and given a little set of keys. Every Sunday night I turned a key in each little screw on the plate, expanding it by a quarter of a millimetre in three directions, then forced it back into the roof of my mouth. I did this for two years. The reason? I would have needed so many teeth out that I'd have been left with virtually no teeth and a collapsed jaw from the resulting incorrect bite. Instead I had my skull expanded by over two centimetres (I think it was the most extreme attempt at doing this at the time) - make the skull fit the teeth rather than the other way round. I also had my lower jaw expanded to match using a wire frame which was adjusted by my dentist every month.

Anyway, once my teeth reached the point where my secondary incisors needed to be pushed over my bottom teeth, I had to wear this built-up thing on my back teeth for six months that prevented me from closing my mouth properly. I sounded like the Elephant Man.

Once all THAT was over I moved onto fixed braces - at first I needed spring bridges and fuck knows what else while bits were moved around but after two years of THAT I got those off and I now have two to three years of wearing clear plastic retainers.

It was probably the most excruciating 4 years of my life and I hated my dentist for ages but my massive overcrowding and sunken face have been transformed into straight teeth and good cheekbones so I can't show him anything except gratitude.

Apologies for length but it was four fucking years for God's sake.
( Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 15:46, Reply)