DentistsMy current dentist is called Mr Stiff.
Back when I was at university though, I had enormous pain in my jaw one morning - so bad I went as an emergency case to the uni dentist.
He took one look at the back of my mouth and said, "Ah, wisdom teeth. Impacted. They'll have to come out."
He then reached under the chair and came out with an enormous industrial (and entirely non-dental) pair of pliers, "I can do it now if you want..."
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chthonic, Thu 2 Nov 2006, 14:31)
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Nobody likes dead baby jokesIt seems that I am not alone here in having had orthodontic treatment when I was younger. Well, good. You all deserve to suffer.
Anyway, I visited my orthodontist once a month or so and my mother, who would happily talk to a potato if she thought it was listening, built up something of a rapport with her. They would chat away whilst the friendly Indian lady poked around in my mouth with various instruments of torture.
Until, that is, she became pregnant and disappeard on maternity leave. In the interim, I had my mouth fiddled with by a fat man who smelled like stale sandwiches and wasn't very good at his job.
You can imagine my delight when my regular orthodontist arrived back. Until, that is, my mother asked how the baby was and she turned around, tears in her eyes, and spake thus:
"Oh, wonderful. Beautiful, really. He was a lovely baby. But he, um, he died. In my mother-in-law's arms. No reason, just one of those things. Excuse me."
She left the room shaking, and I never saw her again. My mother still sometimes finds bits of sock stuck between her teeth.
[Insert obligatory 'it's my first time, be gentle' and/or penis size joke here]
(, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 11:12, Reply)
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