Desperate TimesStranded in a hotel in an African war zone with no internet access for two weeks, I was forced to resort to desperate measures. Possessing only my passport and the clothes I stood up in; and the warning "You can catch it shaking hands with a vicar out there" ringing in my ears, I had to draw my own porn in order to preserve my sanity.
Alas, it all came out looking like Coronation Street's Audrey Roberts, but, as they say, any port in a storm.
What have you done in times of great desperation?
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 10:10)
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I was working on a project in the middle eastIn an arab country with very strict laws.
There was no filth on the hotel TV, internet access was strictly monitored, and the women on the street were no allowed to wear anything more revealing than a barrel.
To begin with I relied on the standard 'Male Wank Fantasy' to get me through the coming months, but having gone from fantasising about good looking girls I knew at school, through the slightly plain, brogue wearing secretary from my department in the UK with thick glasses and a dropped womb, I ended up thinking about Bella Emberg whilst I ononized, (Actually, it was quite saucy. In one fantasy, she was shitting on my chest whilst I masturbated into some ham... Mmmm, ham), I found it increasingly hard (sic) to get off on anything other than an oven ready roast chicken.
It was this reason alone that saw me regularly in the frozen foods section of my local supermarket, right arm moving vigorously in my pocket, getting off on my new found avian erotica..
(, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 14:51, 6 replies)
Was at a partyand some guy walks into the living room with a small roasted chicken on his erect nob.
it may have even gone back into the fridge.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 14:55, closed)
I was at that party and In my defence...That chicken had been eyeing me up all night. It was gagging for it.
Besides, it shouldn't have worn those sexy white things on it's feet.
Still...made an interesting alternative to Paxo
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 16 Nov 2007, 15:12,
closed)
Another quality postI salute you. But is ononism different to onanism?
Dropped womb? Genius!
(, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 15:23, closed)
It is when you're typing fast..... and you cant stop for spelling.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 15:28, closed)
Bella Emberg!...impressivebut try wanking off to this www.scifi.com/sfw/issue363/terrahawks2.jpg
and I'll really salute you. hint: saturday morning cartoons in the 80's (if you are old enough to remember).
(, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 15:40, closed)
ps...I once got a blowie of a bird that slightly resembled 'it'. I had to finish myself off, with my back to her.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 15:43, closed)
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