Desperate Times
Stranded in a hotel in an African war zone with no internet access for two weeks, I was forced to resort to desperate measures. Possessing only my passport and the clothes I stood up in; and the warning "You can catch it shaking hands with a vicar out there" ringing in my ears, I had to draw my own porn in order to preserve my sanity.
Alas, it all came out looking like Coronation Street's Audrey Roberts, but, as they say, any port in a storm.
What have you done in times of great desperation?
( , Thu 15 Nov 2007, 10:10)
Stranded in a hotel in an African war zone with no internet access for two weeks, I was forced to resort to desperate measures. Possessing only my passport and the clothes I stood up in; and the warning "You can catch it shaking hands with a vicar out there" ringing in my ears, I had to draw my own porn in order to preserve my sanity.
Alas, it all came out looking like Coronation Street's Audrey Roberts, but, as they say, any port in a storm.
What have you done in times of great desperation?
( , Thu 15 Nov 2007, 10:10)
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Best Holiday Ever
My day job is as a cardiologist, so I'm nothing more than a glorified GP and I spend most of the day getting visited by aging dodders with dicky tickers. My wife is actually a GP so she's even more miserable than I am.
We had to get out of this rut, it was mind-numbingly depressing. Then my wife and I had an amazing idea, a masterstroke -- we'll go on holiday to Spain, kill our daughter and hide her body. We'd both likely get paid leave from work, and if we got a fund set-up to find her we could leech off of it to pay our mortgage and other bills! Genius!
It went swimmingly - you might have even seen us on the news? What you don't know is that before I buried Maddie in a ditch, I had my way with her corpse! Infanto-necrophilia FTW!
Length? There weren't many big parts left after I chopped her into little pieces.
( , Thu 15 Nov 2007, 16:06, 5 replies)
My day job is as a cardiologist, so I'm nothing more than a glorified GP and I spend most of the day getting visited by aging dodders with dicky tickers. My wife is actually a GP so she's even more miserable than I am.
We had to get out of this rut, it was mind-numbingly depressing. Then my wife and I had an amazing idea, a masterstroke -- we'll go on holiday to Spain, kill our daughter and hide her body. We'd both likely get paid leave from work, and if we got a fund set-up to find her we could leech off of it to pay our mortgage and other bills! Genius!
It went swimmingly - you might have even seen us on the news? What you don't know is that before I buried Maddie in a ditch, I had my way with her corpse! Infanto-necrophilia FTW!
Length? There weren't many big parts left after I chopped her into little pieces.
( , Thu 15 Nov 2007, 16:06, 5 replies)
You know
you could have just hidden her somewhere for a bit and then "find" her a few months later. That way, if you get caught out, then atleast it's just a "wasting police time" charge instead of murder.
Up here for thinking, down there for dancing.
( , Thu 15 Nov 2007, 16:26, closed)
you could have just hidden her somewhere for a bit and then "find" her a few months later. That way, if you get caught out, then atleast it's just a "wasting police time" charge instead of murder.
Up here for thinking, down there for dancing.
( , Thu 15 Nov 2007, 16:26, closed)
Haribo
This happened to someone living near enough to me.
They were on their way back to the airport, he tells his missus he is going for a walk and does a runner. Shows up a couple of months later amidst plenty of searches etc. Claims 'I WAZ KIDNAPPED AND BUMMED' under questioning admitted 'HAA HAA JOKING LOLZ, I WOZ JUST SIC OF MAI WIFE' and is now getting done for wasting police time.
He is(was) also a respected business man.
( , Thu 15 Nov 2007, 16:42, closed)
This happened to someone living near enough to me.
They were on their way back to the airport, he tells his missus he is going for a walk and does a runner. Shows up a couple of months later amidst plenty of searches etc. Claims 'I WAZ KIDNAPPED AND BUMMED' under questioning admitted 'HAA HAA JOKING LOLZ, I WOZ JUST SIC OF MAI WIFE' and is now getting done for wasting police time.
He is(was) also a respected business man.
( , Thu 15 Nov 2007, 16:42, closed)
Alternatively....
...you could have gone to Portugal, where I gather the police are a bit dim.
( , Thu 15 Nov 2007, 17:26, closed)
...you could have gone to Portugal, where I gather the police are a bit dim.
( , Thu 15 Nov 2007, 17:26, closed)
You could have just posted...
...'I was so desperate to make a post of QOTW I told a desperately unfunny Maddy McCann joke'.
( , Thu 15 Nov 2007, 20:23, closed)
...'I was so desperate to make a post of QOTW I told a desperately unfunny Maddy McCann joke'.
( , Thu 15 Nov 2007, 20:23, closed)
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