10 x faster internet service providings...
Before I start, let me say this: Don't call 0845, 0844, 0870 or 0871 numbers...

0845, 0844, 0870 or 0871

These types of number are exactly the same as 0800 numbers, which are normally used to sell you something so of course they don't mind paying for the call. (ocean finance, claims direct, sheilas cunting wheels, admiral et al).

There is one difference: Instead of the advertiser paying (think Sky TV, all of the loan and insurance companies, banks and "free" information lines like National Rail Enquiries, Transport for London etc...) paying for the cost of you calling them, once you are a "customer" they switch you to a special "Customer Services Number" for which YOU PAY A PREMIUM TO CALL THEM AS FOLLOWS:

0845: Local Rate Call: 4ppm
0844: Local Rate Call: 6ppm
0870: National Rate Call: 7.5ppm
0871: National Rate Call: 10ppm

THIS IS PURE PROFIT YOU ARE GIVING THEM THROUGH YOUR PHONE COMPANY - CHECK YOUR PHONE BILL FOR PROOF!

Put simply; YOU pay an extra 4-10ppm to call YOUR bank/Sky/TFL/tour operator etc. THEY use this "inbound revenue" to pay the cost of and diverting your call to call centres in India and other countries (or they keep you on hold for ages and just collect the revenue as profit).

Also rather more interestingly; The company I used to work for operated sex "chat" lines over 0906 and 0909 numbers. This works in the same way but by connecting the caller of an 090 number to an available housewife/horny teen/broke ho/dominatrix/mistress etc normal home landline number... Armed with a list of the wank-chat lady's home phone numbers we were able to call them directly and tug one off for the price of a normal landline call while the dirty sex-chat ho talked utter filth thinking that they were going to get paid the normal rate when in fact I was getting cheap thrills for free!

Great days...

(PS. Length jokes are shit... especially if you only write one line)
(aroe_m0rre, Thu 27 Sep 2007, 19:19, Reply)