ART DEALER INSIDE DOPE
Oh loads of nasties none of which will get me in the mailout (since they lack humour) but should be told.

The very senior head of a National Gallery who was renouned for buying artworks worth millions using the public purse (including public appeals to raise the money) but then privately got sold an expensive thing from the same dealer for quite a lot less than the going rate!

The way gallieries don't print prices (especially on the internet) and wait and see how rich the client is before coming up with the amount they want - something I don't do but it is pernicious in this area of work. My advice go in scruffy if you are going to buy something expensive.

The Russian booksellers who lent a set of very rare books to a US dealer on consignment (ie sale or return I guess) and then turned up asking for the money immediately even thought the books hadn't sold with a friendly warning of an impending bookshop fire sale without the "sale" bit should the money not be forthcoming quickly enough. Oh the Russian mafia don't cha just love em.

Forgeries - well there are fewer than people imagine going around but just go on Ebay and type in Kurt Schwitters - a famous and very expensive artist - and see if you can see original works for about 800$ - a Schwitters for 800$!!! - well if it is too good to be true then it probably is. (Ask for full provenence before buying - where did it all come from, who owned it before and was it ever exhibited anywhere).

Theft - also possible - I've had the odd dodgy thing offered to me - but thankfully I've always just said no - but it was tempting I have to say especially if I collected that particular artist myself so anything I bought would have only been for myself. But the vast majority of such thefts are small scale worth not very much and I can't say anyone has offered me Munch's The Scream in the 3 times it was stolen from the Oslo museum (To paraphrase Oscar Wilde: "To lose a painting once through an open window may be called unfortunate, to get it nicked 3 times - well your security is bloody fucking awful!")

Drink and drugs and sex also figure. Like any business where there's money then plain old fashioned bribery works. Sadly I don't get offered this stuff.

And my own confession it's pretty pathetic - well I once gave an arts reviewer a free 50 quid artwork: It worked a treat we got a 5 star review (which the work deserved anyhow) and a picture of a piece in the paper. That's all I'M admitting to - honest gov - but anyone out there has any stunning hookers and high class coke on offer in return for a fake Warhol do get in touch......

Selling rare art by the length for 10 years ....... girth doesnt matter when its all avant garde.
(beaverwastemanagement a real company. I want to work for them!, Fri 28 Sep 2007, 11:18, Reply)