The Hot Food Trade
I have worked various mobile hot food establishments in my time, mostly just on a day to day basis for a friend of a friend of a friend who was desperate for work because his Polish immigrant has been caught by the police again and is due to be deported. Through these employments I have managed to gleam valuable insights that would make sure I would never, EVER visit the humble snack wagon at the local fair/racetrack again.

The "Quarter pounder" burgers that are usually offered for £3 at any good fair usually have the following qualities:

1) They are typically only 80% beef, which *does not* mean that they are made of 80% beef. Oh no. That usually means that the beef they use is 80% beef, 20% other mechanically recovered meat. This is then pressed, usually with onion and wheat to fluff it up. Its almost as bad as using sawdust as a filler. At any rate the burgers usually come out to be anywhere between 45-55% beef.

2) The burgers are very rarely cooked and served within an hour. Usually they are cooked the night before and slipped onto the cold half of the griddle when nobody is watching, then warmed up as required. This process is basically the same for bacon and sausage too. And anything else that needs cooking before eating.

3) The bread baps that your 50% beef patty is wrapped have usually been frozen just after their use-by-date, and have been defrosted by sweating it out in a cardboard box underneath a boiler. And they are loaded with sugar too, but I have no idea why.

4) The complimentary sauces you have access to once you have purchased your food are very rarely what they claim to be. Some people reuse top brand (He*nz) ketchup bottles by filling them with... out of date freebie sauce packets from high street fast food outlets. These things seem to be in limitless supply and its not uncommon to have all the annoying little kids from the local area sat around cutting open sachets and emptying them into bottles for a free burger or hot dog.

And the big trick with mineral water...

It's actually (usually) purchased at close to sell by date for about 7-8p per bottle, then resold at events for £1.30-1.50. We used to understock the pop bottles and overstock water because the profit margin was so much greater.

And counters would often be cleaned by emptying the remaining hot water from the boilers onto them and wiping them down with their hands. Although I have seen people cleaning the inside of the food warming cabinets (used for storing sausage rolls and such) by spitting onto the glass.

So play it safe, and if you really need to eat something, buy the chips. They are always stupidly overcooked and after eating one or two you don't feel like eating any more anyway.

And my dad used to be an ice cream man, and would ring his chimes even if his van was empty, just to get the kids to come running to his van asking for things he didnt have. At which point he would sell them all the bubblys from the bottom of screwball cups. (Those things never, ever went out of date)

And yes, it is true. ALL ice cream men, without exception, hate having to use juice. Its awful, 99% sugar, expensive (since its given away) and gets everywhere. And its a complete b*tch to clean too.
(guyie failed to be witty on, Sun 30 Sep 2007, 15:54, Reply)