OK Politics inside dope (number 4 in a series)
This is becoming a daily confessional. This time politics - some snippets not all really "trade confessions" more inside gossip.

My ex stayed in Gordon Brown's flat years ago before he even became Chancellor - her memories are of used condoms scattered in the bedroom, unwashed dishes (he was a 'bachelor' at the time) and pot noodle empties lying around.

A well known Scottish politician once gave me the worst blow job of my life which was little more than a lick for a few seconds. Her calvinist background didn't allow her to really enjoy such carnality. A different former Scottish minister of State was a much better shag but she did have a perchant for watching hard core porn while having sex (something she no doubt hid from her feminist colleagues at the time); I was not going to dissuade her.

For a short time (I was out of favour elsewhere) I had to work for the Liberals - OH MY FUCKING GOD - they really are mostly amateurs, they at one point appointed a former army catering officer to a very senior political post - a man who had never ran an election campaign. I have many many tales of their ineptitude but just trust me never never let them near the reins of power.

Dirty tricks - well firstly ALL political parties overspend the legal limits during elections especially during by-elections. It is all covered up by fake receipts and very creative accounting and because they all do it then no one rocks the boat because they all would get caught. That being said now and then some daft bastard goes to the police and complains (strictly speaking it is electoral fraud). That happened in one by-election (a stupid Liberal candidate again did it) I did some work for - and the police came to inverview me. I hadn't actually done anything wrong this time but they wanted to ask me about the prices that the Labour Party had declared for their print costs. The copper who interviewed me as a 'witness' clearly wanted to have nothing to do with what was a messy business so during the interview while he was asking me the likely costs of printing during a by-election he asked if he could go for a pee. As he went he very obviously turned his notebook around in front of me so I could read it and left me alone for 5 minutes - clearly revealing the "admitted" costs of printing for the campaign. When he came back into the room he asked: "so if someone was to do such printing, how much would it cost?" I was able to "guestimate" the costs pretty accurately - down to the last pound he was later to point out!

I've done fake posters and leaflets supposedly from the opposition too (bet they do it too) and plenty of other stuff too but this post is already challenging my cock for length in true B3TA tradition. so I'm off... vivisection lab secrets revealed tomorrow.
(beaverwastemanagement a real company. I want to work for them!, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 13:12, Reply)