"A Hundred Ways To Die In Tamagochi-Land"
Me old computer shop bought in hundreds of these little beeping bastards for the retarded community, who lapped them up by the dozen at £6 a time. These weren't the legitimate ones though, but an inferior "Tamo-Pet" variety, and had a perchant for breaking for the slightest reasons. Our supplier gave refunds for the returns, but only wanted the barcodes back and not the Tamo-Pets themselves.

So as if by magic, we had a load of faulty beeping Tamo-Pets sitting in a box. Litterally about 200 of the buggers, beeping randomly. So behind closed doors, we never returned them to the manufacturer. We actually settled on finding amusing ways to kill the feckers. Chucking them at walls, drowning them in a bucket of water, attacking them with stanley knives, stamping, indoor baseball, indoor cricket, smashing with a bar from the safe door (which weighed alot). One of them survived all of this, we even left it underwater for 5 minutes in the bucket and it was still beeping. Seriously, this fucker could've been on a "Top Gear Special". The way we finally ended "Attila the Tama"'s life was by doing the following;

the shop was a converted old Post Office (thanks the Government) which had a large front area and a room with a large walk-in safe in the back office, which was secured closed by two large iron bars at night. The door for this safe weighed close to a metric ton and required alot of effort to open and close. So we got Atilla and lined this beeping cunt up with the bottom corner of the safe door frame, and two of us swung this door as hard as possible at the bastard. We hit it square on, but it somehow wedges itself between the door and frame and doesn't break? Instead, it starts beeping more. So we did it another 7 times until it finally beeped no more. A tear of joy wept, a japanese funeral ensued (someone swept him up and poured him from a dustpan into the bin while saluting) and work went back to normal.

Occasionaly at night however, I wake up and sometimes still hear the faint beeping of Atilla in the distance, tormenting some young kid.

Apols for length, but he was a fighter :D
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 3 Oct 2007, 10:32, Reply)