The Dirty Secrets of Your TradeSo, Television is a hot bed of lies, deceit and made up competitions. We can't say that we are that surprised... every job is full of this stuff. It's not like the newspapers currently kicking TV whilst it is down are all that innocent.
We'd like you to even things out a bit. Spill the beans on your own trade. Tell us the dirty secrets that the public need to know.
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chthonic, Thu 27 Sep 2007, 10:31)
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More secrets of the paperclip salesman1. Sales conferences are an open invitation by the company, not only for you to drink your own weight in Stella every hour, but to behave like a primate with Asbergers. Make sure you have plenty of photographs of yourself taken with your arms wide open (one must be holding a pint of stella), your tongue stuck out as far as it will go and your eyes out on stalks.
Any female delegates are considered 'fair game' and will not mind you swearing profusely, and talking graphically about past conquests.
2. Your mobile phone is a status symbol. Even though you only ever arrange your social life on it, it is what puts you above shop assistants and must be used to full effect.
Make sure you talk loudly on it, especially when in close proximity to members of the public, because they will regard you as a deity and someone to be revered because of your stature and grasp of the world of commerce. Never on any account switch your phone off, not even for your own mother's funeral. Theres no telling when that next paperclip deal will come up.
3. Talk loudly in the pub after work about how much wedge you made this week. It doesnt matter that you really pull in 12k per annum basic and about 8k in commission every year, it's what other people think you make that matters, and this can be acheived by bellowing it into the ear of your conversation partner, especially effective in an empty pub.
(, Wed 3 Oct 2007, 13:47, Reply)
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