One-coat white paint.
One-coat, my arse.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 11:26, 15 replies)

It only needs one coat
If you're painting over something which is already white.

Otherwise you'll be layering it on for days!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 11:27, closed)

Fecking clicks

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Sat 28 Jun 2008, 11:31, closed)

I was painting over
"apple white" - white with a dull hint of green!

Third coat lucky, eh?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 11:33, closed)

You know what?
I've wondered for years why apple white is that colour, given that apples come in every shade from bright Granny Smith green to Russet red. And it's just hit me that it's the interior of the apple that's a kind of 'white with a hint of green' colour.

I can be a bit thick sometimes.

Although these mushy red apples have a yellowy flesh.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 11:50, closed)

You paint
your arse?
(romega Lesbian Licker, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 11:50, closed)

my arse
needs no paint, it's lovely just as it is.

@K2k6: you're right! And that's suddenly so clear. How could I have missed that?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 11:52, closed)

my hallway
could do with a lick (no prison slang) where my flatmate has put foundation round the lightswitches, fancy doing mine next?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 11:57, closed)

^
foundation? Deliberately?

No way - it's my hallway and stairs I'm doing and I'm knackered and not tall enough to reach parts of the wall at the top of the stairs.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 11:59, closed)

Stop painting now
go to the pub for the next three hours and I guarantee the walls will look fine by the time you come back
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 12:00, closed)

^
hmm, yes - and then I just need to regularly top up my blood-alcohol level, which is much easier than painting and is probably cheaper than one-coat paint.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 12:17, closed)

*click*
Oh so true. Three fucking coats it took me.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 12:36, closed)

Also avoid own-brand paint
You're better off painting with milk.
(Chuckman, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 16:14, closed)

Hang on
so your arse is naturally that colour? I just assumed you painted it, but now I'm worried.

You should probably see someone about that.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 18:48, closed)

^
hmm, yes, I might do one wall buttercup yellow.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 19:19, closed)

Good idea
but try and smudge out the white dots in the middle.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 22:28, closed)