Greene King, Destroyer of Souls
I like pubs, me.

Whether I'm happily cycling through the countryside, or tootling along on our narrowboat, or going for a stroll along some picturesque paths with squirrels darting underfoot and bluebells delicately adorning the way - any of these wonderfully English cliches - then my spirits are instantly lifted by the first glimpse of a pub sign round the corner.

They then sink into the squirrel-shit infested depths when I notice that the charming rustic illustration has just two words underneath it: "Greene King".

Yes, yet another fine pub has fallen prey to the evilest bunch of conniving bar stewards ever to serve up an overpriced pint of mass-produced "real ale" ditchwater, flat diluted Coke, or never-seen-an-apple-not-even-an-Irish-one chemical cider. My hopes of a nice PIE AND PINT are replaced by a realisation that all i will get is some greasy lasagne, a glass of Strongbow (Strongbow FFS! - even in Hereford, where they make the bloody stuff, everyone drinks Westons), and ankle bites from a bunch of misbehaving brats whose parents were lured in by the rebranding of the pub as a "Fun Factory".

The nice, local handpainted blackboards aren't really nice or local at all: they're done by some gimboid in Bury St Edmunds who sends out the exact same ones to every single sodding GK pub. The "guest ales" aren't either, they're the remnants of some poor brewery in Nether Snodbury which sold out to GK, and whose brew names now remain as merely badge engineering exercises on some unholy amalgam of Greene King's own two alleged "beers", Abbot and IPA.

They don't even bother with proper pub signs any more. They have a generic Greene King logo in the same spot. At least this means my disappointment now only lasts a few seconds as I can now recognise a GK pub from a very long way away. Of course, the FOUL STENCH OF DEATH is a giveaway, too.

Given the quality of the piss on offer, "frothing tards" (minted not five posts ago in this very thread) seems perhaps the best epithet I can hurl at these numpties of corporate hegemony. Curse you, Greene King, you have disappointed me time after time. May your intestines rot away in a soup of donkeypiss - "it's made for drinking", remember.
(ChaRleyTroniC is invincible with his chips and cheese, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 13:16, 6 replies)

Haha
Amen to this.

RIP Ridleys. :(
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 13:24, closed)

Same goes for
Palmers
Enterprise
Punch

But isn't it oh so wonderful when you see the sign 'Free House'?
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 13:50, closed)

I'll happily agree with this.
The most dissapointing thing I've ever had in a pub was a Wetherspoons in Raynes Park.

I go there because a friend of mine works there, so cheap food and whatnot.

I cast an eye over the ales they were displaying that week, when lo! I spotted it.

Abbot Ale.

The only thing worse than Abbot Ale is of course, IPA.

Greene King has even infected wetherspoons.

It was so heartbreaking that I had to settle down with a Jagermeister and Red Bull instead.

Bastards.
(King of Swandanavia Proud owner of the worlds first Flong, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 14:00, closed)

I still stand by my view that Scream pubs are one of the most dire inventions ever to blight this country.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 15:13, closed)

King Dong
You speak great truths...but they can be beaten.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lewes_Arms_controversy
(Pickettywitchfinder General, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 16:00, closed)

err
Join Camra if you haven't already, find pubs with proper beer, drink in them!
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 16:16, closed)