Caveat Emptor
I have a friend who I will refer to as Jeff, for that is his name.
Jeff is the kind of guy who won't actually ask you to do something for him, he's a bit of a wheedler until you profess any sort of "expertise" in the field he particularly wants help in.
Jeff bought a bungalow from the estate of a recently deceased gentleman, with a view to living in it whilst doing it up. The first thing was to gut the kitchen, I was between contracts at the time so I pitched up to help. Ripping out 70's style wallpaper, tiles, lino and cupboards was just the therapy I needed.
Once we'd cleared the mess (just leaving the sink so we had running water)we decided to have a cuppa. I put the full kettle on the windowsill and, leaning with one hand on the bare plaster, flicked the switch.

Some time later, I woke up in casualty. I'd recieved a 240v belt straight across my chest which had thrown me over the room and I'd cracked my head on the opposite wall.
Once we decided to have another look at the kitchen, we took a real live electrician to test the circuits.

Christ on a fucking candy-pink bike with flashing LEDs!

The walls were live.

240 volt live.

Paul the electrician cut the power and we set to ripping the plaster from the walls.
The previous occupant had had a DIY bent and he'd obviously decided to add wires to lights, cooker, extra sockets and a feed for the garage. He was not as enamoured with spending money. ALL the wiring was made up of redundant wires from old appliances, held together with pvc tape, in one case MASKING tape. There were bare wires wrapped in newspaper and then plastered over, the cooker point was wired with three lengths of flymo cable in parallel NO EARTH, then spurred off to the 9kW shower!!

The whole place had to be rewired.

I wish I'd taken photos (the permanent non-fused feed to the fan heater above the bath was a doozy!). Once the electricians were leaving they told my mate "You were lucky, this place was a fire waiting to happen".

Beware buying any property from a DIY "expert", I was nearly killed making a cuppa, god knows what would have happened if I'd taken a shower!


No apologies for length, girth or stamina.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 4 Apr 2008, 10:54, 4 replies)

On the bright side...
... he'd remembered to have a decent cross-sectional area for the oven- there was a guy at work who didn't see the problem in putting 10A down a length of 30gauge wire...
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Fri 4 Apr 2008, 12:24, closed)

Sounds like the previous owner
Was either related to, or was a clone of my mother.

She who 'fixed' an extension cable with the net result of me upside down in a bush wondering why the world was buzzing.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Fri 4 Apr 2008, 13:31, closed)

some bright spark...
used a golden virginia tin as a junction box in the roofspace of my first house, with cables twisted together inside. i only discovered this when putting some boxes up there and came against the cable causing firework-like sparkage. the same flongtard had run the cooker socket off the lighting circuit. and the ring main came out of one way on the C.U. and back in another! sheesh and double sheesh!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 5 Apr 2008, 11:00, closed)

Previous occupant
I wonder how he died.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 11:16, closed)