DIY legend part 2
Just remembered the time we were having a garage built and my dad, being the sort who follows the tradesmen around tutting and saying "are you sure you wantt o do it like that?" had decided that the builders hadn't stacked the windows properly when they'd been delivered.

My mum and I came back from shopping to find him standing up to his ankles in an icy cold bath. My mum just thought it was an attempt to cool down on a hot day, but I subsequently found out it was because he'd been wearing sandals when he'd been poking around on the building site and had guillottined every one of his toes when the windows that were happily stacked slipped due to his trying to move them to prove they weren't stacked right...

Then there is the time he decided to wrap lagging round his van's engine bay to deaden the sound, despite the fact it tended to absorb the oil that leaked out of the engine...he thought the guy flashing his lights and pointing was trying to overtake, so cue much swearing and flicking of V's. Until my dad saw the flames billowing out of the cooling slots... So he pulls over to the sound of flames crackling around the fuel line and empties the fire extinguisher into the bay, only to have it still be hot and threatening to burn. So, he figures he needs some sort of liquid to cool it...does he use the flat bottle of coke? Nope. The de-ionised water for car batteries? No. He uses anti-freeze. two litres of Ethyl-butyl-Combustable-blue-stuff onto smouldering wires and bubbling plastic. How he is still alive, I don't know....
(Chance, Fri 4 Apr 2008, 16:08, 3 replies)

Erm...
Do you mean by "guillottined every one of his toes" that he's literally got no toes now, that they were sliced off?
( Cawl, Fri 4 Apr 2008, 16:14, closed)

If so
I'm surprised they didn't notice the red staining in the bath of ice water!
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Apr 2008, 16:17, closed)

Danger , Danger,
If he ever plans to come anywhere near cambridgeshire, please put a anouncement out on the radio !
(Betty Boothroyd's Love custard Tourettes at the KOB, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 16:09, closed)