i was very briefly a boss
several years ago, i hired a cleaner. now, i know you're all thinking "lazy bitch", but in my defence, my back was so bad i could hardly walk more than a few steps.
i paid her £10 for an hours' work, twice a week. thanks to her, i've developed a love for the smell of bleach.
things were going well. i had a clean home, she had an extra £20 a week. this didn't stop her from simply not turning up one day. i phoned her house, hoping to find out what had happened to her, only to be told by her daughter that she had no intentions of coming back to work for me, as she'd just received a hefty severance payout from her previous employers. nice of her to let me know, eh?
saw her a few weeks ago. she's skint again now and can't find another job in this credit-crunch climate. shame i don't need a cleaner any more.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:26, 15 replies)

Lazy bitch.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:36, closed)

This is what an anecdote would be like if nothing interesting had ever happened in the entire history of humanity.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:42, closed)

hey, this is the best i've got
i've never had a boss.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:43, closed)

Get a job.
www.b3ta.com/questions/dodgyworkethics/post1270677
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:44, closed)

pfff
can't, unfortunately
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:48, closed)

Oh god.
You're one of these dreadful people that the nice Mr Cameron warned us about, aren't you? My taxes are paying for you to trundle down to the bingo and fill your flab chariot with salt and vinegar crisps.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:51, closed)

crisps are nasty
and i haven't been to bingo since i realised it was a complete waste of money.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:53, closed)

Have a rice cake,
and check out my new on-line roulette wheel.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:58, closed)

Best chat-up line ever.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 21:03, closed)

hahahahaha!

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 21:05, closed)

Pffft
I like the term 'flab chariot' and shall steal it forthwith.
(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_ =o.o=, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 21:14, closed)

ditto

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 21:16, closed)

How would I go about saying your nym
if I ever wanted to refer to you in real life?
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 21:38, closed)

I imagine it would be a series of indrawn breaths and conspiritorial looks
As though you were about to say something as an aside but could never quite get the words out.
( MatJ LOOK, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 23:18, closed)

hahahaha

(Vinnie Strokes Got bummed on, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 1:23, closed)